


Find Your Grail

by Jo_Rutherford_Lee



Series: Find Your Grail-verse [1]
Category: Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975), Monty Python's Spamalot
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Action, Adventure, Ambidextrous Lancelot, Angst, Art, Comic, Complex Patsy, Developing Relationships, Eventual Romance, First-Aider Bedevere, Fluff, Guilt, Humour, I am Arthur - King of the mixed signals, I'm so sorry Neil, M/M, Masturbation, Minor Character Death, Minor Injuries, Minor Violence, Nudity, Occasional swearing, POV First Person, Patsy's POV, Pining, Romance, Sexual Fantasy, Slow Burn, Voyeurism, implied polyamory, little tribute to Terry J and Neil in Ch. 5, occasional narration, occasional silliness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:22:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 23,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21573697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jo_Rutherford_Lee/pseuds/Jo_Rutherford_Lee
Summary: The tale ofSirPatsy.Who travels with King Arthur, pines after him (a lot) and sometimes gets caught up in some dramatic adventure and various other scary things...I'm rubbish at descriptions.And sorry about the absolute wall of tags...
Relationships: Bedevere & Galahad, King Arthur & Bedevere, King Arthur & Patsy, King Arthur/Patsy (Monty Python and the Holy Grail), Lancelot & Robin, Patsy & Concorde, Robin & Galahad, implied Bedevere/Galahad/Robin, implied Lancelot/Concorde, minor Patsy/Concorde (one-sided)
Series: Find Your Grail-verse [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2005633
Comments: 18
Kudos: 10





	1. Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first chapter just sets up the basic idea of the story, introduced by a silly little comic. (More on that later)  
> The story will start to progress proper in Chapter 2. :)

_Take it away, Patsy._

My name is Patsy. Not much of a name, I know. It's hardly as noble and majestic as, say, 'Arthur'. And it doesn't exactly conjure thoughts of brave and valiant deeds like, for example, 'Lancelot' or 'Galahad'. I mean, it-

_Get on with it, Patsy..._

Oh, right, sorry.

_And no one believes you just plucked those names out of the air, seriously._

Well anyway, I had been travelling with King Arthur for quite a long time before the infamous quest you may have heard of. Actually, you might be surprised to learn that I didn't like him very much at first. As a member of the lowly working class, I didn't like any kings or royalty in general, since, without fail, they always looked down on us as if we were each a pile of horse dung in their path. Well, almost without fail...

After a while, I started to think Arthur might actually be different. He was always kind, even to me. He never seemed to look at me or speak to me as if I were a lower species. Sure, I was his servant, but I was never as badly treated as other servants I'd seen in my life. Although, I did have quite a heavy pack to carry most of the time, but I was stronger than I looked. Plus, I couldn't expect a king to carry all that himself, so it wasn't too bad considering this. Still, I told myself not to get my hopes up too much. He was bound to show his true nature eventually, I thought. Perhaps something may have angered him and he would take it out on me. Times like that were usually when people showed their true colours. I mean, he may have been kind in good circumstances, but his patience was hardly infinite. We did once run into a very mouthy peasant called Dennis who had the nerve to question my king's right to his status, and who received a bit of an angry shaking for it. And as Arthur was walking back to me, I couldn't help but flinch, expecting a clip 'round the head for myself, since he still looked somewhat angry. But surprisingly, it never came, and against my better judgement, my hopes did go up a little.

It's hard to pinpoint exactly, but I think it was around that time when I started to develop feelings for him, which was even more against my better judgement. It certainly happened at least shortly after the above incident, when Arthur had to fight the Black Knight. Now, I have to confess, I usually didn't do very well with bloody violence. In fact, I had to duck behind a tree more than once when Arthur started hacking off the Black Knight's limbs. I even considered turning away completely, but my king was such a good fighter, I couldn't help feeling compelled to watch him. Not to mention, I quite liked the way he moved, skillfully dodging and blocking his opponent's attacks, and getting in some good strikes of his own. In fact, I don't mind admitting that I often enjoyed constantly walking behind him during our travels. It was certainly an appealing view; he looked like he had a very nice body under all that mail and clothing, especially the way his sword belt rather pleasingly accentuated his figure somewhat. It made him look quite slim, although I was betting there was some nice muscle under there from all the fighting he often had to do. And I couldn't deny that he was very handsome, on the less frequent times he was facing me. But I digress.

By that time, despite the inevitable battles and various other dangers, I wanted nothing more than to stay with him. Even though I could never begin to hope that he would ever reciprocate my feelings. I mean, what was I compared to him? I just considered it a privilege to travel with someone like him, and, like I mentioned earlier, to do so without being constantly abused.

There was also the problematic fact that he was a Christian, so it was unlikely, to say the least, that he would ever feel the same way. And this sometimes troubled me too, whenever I thought on it; I said I didn't like kings, and from what I've seen of them in the past, I didn't have much of a fondness for Christians either. And he was both. Yet in spite of this, and my expectations, he was still a good man, and treated me well, comparatively speaking at least. Although ideally, I may have preferred a quieter, less dangerous life, so occasionally - but briefly - I did consider leaving, just running off one night when he was asleep perhaps, before I got too close to him. But that would have been risking a worse life instead, with someone who might have abused me, as I'd seen in the past. So I suppose I decided the possibility of getting my heart broken in my current situation was a preferable risk, and I stayed with him.

_Aww, Patsy... that's so sad..._

It's not too sappy, is it?

_Well, maybe a little, but I think we can pull it off._

You're the writer.

_Shall I wrap up this chapter, then?_

Sure, go ahead.

_Ahem...  
Does Patsy get his heart broken? Could Arthur possibly share his feelings? ~~Do you think Patsy might be staring at Arthur a bit too much?~~ Find out (maybe) in the next chapter, Coming Soontm to a fanfiction site right in front of you._

That's... a little dramatic...

_Shh!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so I've actually been working on this fic for a few months, but I wanted to be sure there was a chance of finishing it before I started posting it. I do have a bad habit of starting things and not finishing them, but since I actually have an ending for this, I'm quite hopeful...  
> And shortly after starting it, I had this idea of the intro comic cross my mind once or twice, couldn't let it go and just ran with it by continuing the narration in writing and having Patsy tell the story in first person. :P  
> (Btw, I hope everyone can see the two images. I've never used DA sta.sh before, and I don't have anywhere else to host them now Photobucket is being a bitch... And I know my art probably leaves a lot to be desired, but I haven't really drawn in years, and even then I've never drawn any of the Python boys till now... But there won't be art with every chapter - there might not be any more for a couple more chapters now. Also, I have a [colour version](https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/c86245ba-76f9-411c-912f-bf2837d8af2c/ddl4bqg-b14fc0b4-68c4-4424-9039-a40de5d49aba.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7InBhdGgiOiJcL2ZcL2M4NjI0NWJhLTc2ZjktNDExYy05MTJmLWJmMjgzN2Q4YWYyY1wvZGRsNGJxZy1iMTRmYzBiNC02OGM0LTQ0MjQtOTAzOS1hNDBkZTVkNDlhYmEuanBnIn1dXSwiYXVkIjpbInVybjpzZXJ2aWNlOmZpbGUuZG93bmxvYWQiXX0.pa4dXvvDhzc6mA1OrT0gU9ZXDWvoifyKvStmDJphplM) of the picture at the end, but I thought it looked nicer and more, kind of 'wistful-y' (if that makes sense) in grey scale. :) )  
> Oh, and one more thing. [/Columbo] I am hoping to keep any scenes from the film brief, like the two in this chapter, since anyone reading this will probably know the film well, ~~some of you possibly by heart... XD~~ and I don't want to make it look like I'm just regurgitating the film, obviously. Although there is a film scene in Chapter 2 that's not so brief, but it's told in a different way, so hopefully it's alright.


	2. Not Only A Model

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patsy has some self-doubts, (which I hope I haven't laid on a bit too thick...) but Arthur makes it better. ^^

_Hello again, everyone. Welcome back to the story!_  
  
What, they're still here?  
  
_Of course! They want to hear more about you and Arthur!_  
  
Well, I hope they've got patience, with the rate you upload work...  
  
_Hey! ...Ok, you may have a point...  
So anyway, where were we? Oh yes, Patsy here was admiring a certain captivating view in front of him..._  
  
Alright, so I might have slightly given the wrong impression in the first chapter; I didn't spend every travelling moment staring at King Arthur's backside while walking behind him. I found the scenery around us very pleasing too, as I've always enjoyed Nature.  
Walking through forests was the best, especially on fine days, with the rays of the sun coming through the trees. Very pretty, I thought. At least, this was the case during the day. At night forests were a different story, especially if we had to sleep out in them, far from any village or castle where we could ask to spend the night.  
Although fortunately, this was a rarity, and we could usually find an inn with a vacancy, or even some kind soul with a spare bed and a willingness to help their king and his servant.  
  
A _bed? Singular?_  
  
Don't get your hopes up, I usually slept on blankets on the floor, while Arthur took the bed. Occasionally, we would even be offered a bit of breakfast the next morning before we set off again. The poorer ones couldn't spare much, of course, but we were grateful none the less.  
  
"So, what's a king doing in our neck of the woods?" one householder asked as we finished eating. "That is, if you don't mind me asking, your majesty."  
"We are searching for worthy knights to join me at Camelot." Arthur explained. "Although, we have not had much luck so far. I don't suppose you happen to know of any knights around here?"  
"Well, there is our current executive officer. He-"  
  
The man stopped when we heard a commotion outside, and when we went to investigate, Arthur ended up finally recruiting his first knight after helping him with a witch trial.  
Arthur and Sir Bedevere took to each other quite quickly, which made me more than a little jealous of our new companion. They seemed to fall into conversation so easily, and I didn't understand a lot of it. I started to think Arthur and I were perhaps too different to really be compatible; he and Bedevere said more to each other in an hour than he and I usually said in a week! He must have been so bored with no one but me for company for so long, but at least he had some stimulating companionship now.  
  
And yes, it was around an hour until we came across the next little village, and it sounded like there was some sort of fight going on in the middle of the place. The noises of raised voices and clashing swords were making me quite nervous, but hopefully we now had two good fighters in our group. Being behind them, I couldn't see very well at first, but I saw at least that there were four people involved in the clash; two pairs against each other, perhaps?  
  
"We should help him!" Arthur suddenly said after exchanging a few quick glances with Bedevere.  
"No need." a resident of the village told them, "Just watch."  
"Patsy, look!" Arthur waved me forward.  
I was wrong: it wasn't two against two, it was three against one! But that one - clad in black and white with an emblem of a griffin rampant - was doing an unbelievable job holding his ground against the other three. Arthur was clearly impressed.  
"What do you think?" he asked me, and I knew he was thinking of recruiting again.  
"I don't know." I considered, appreciating that he asked my opinion. "Is he good, or...?"  
For all we knew, he could have been the bad guy being subdued by three villagers. But again, I was mistaken.  
"He is." the villager answered, "The other three were harassing the village and he fought them in our defence! He just challenged them on his own!"  
"He's insane." I commented.  
"Yes..." Arthur said, a little too gleefully for my liking. "Imagine him on our side..."  
  
It was quite a sight to watch, too; the way one man skilfully defended against three opponents. Although it looked like it was partly skill and partly sheer insane determination. Either way, I could hardly believe my eyes. Eventually though, two of them started to back off from the fight, evidently deeming it hopeless. The third one was almost as determined as the lone knight, however, and unfortunately, it seemed as though the latter was now getting tired, although I couldn't blame him. But he dropped his guard for just a second and his opponent made a swipe at his sword arm with his own sword, making a large gash on the knight's upper arm and also making me flinch a little.  
  
The two who had backed off started to consider joining the fight again, thinking there was now a chance. They were wrong; the lone knight's minor mistake and resulting injury must have given him an extra surge of resolve, if that were possible. The next moment, he flung his sword from one hand to the other, lunged and struck at his attacker, with no less skill with this arm than the other - I'd never seen anything like it. The strike was blocked by the other man's sword, but the injured knight's strength knocked him onto his back. The downed man's arms flew open when he hit the ground and his head was tipped back, giving the other an opening. He wasted no time turning the point of his sword downwards and thrusting it towards his opponent's throat. I quickly turned away just before it hit, shielding my eyes, but I still heard the bloodcurdling squelch and crack of impact and I shuddered and cringed involuntarily. Arthur's hand went around my shoulders, which made me slightly ashamed that he felt the need to protect me from it. I could only imagine what Bedevere must have thought, and I worried I was showing Arthur up in front of his new friend.  
  
A cheer erupted throughout the village for their defender's victory and I realised I could at least be glad about that outcome. After a few seconds, Arthur let me know it was safe to look up again, and I saw that some of the crowd had indeed moved closer to their hero, thankfully obscuring the view of the scene. I glanced up at Arthur and attempted an apology I felt I owed him.  
  
"Sorry, I..."  
"No, don't worry." he interrupted, stroking my shoulder a little. "It was quite gruesome. You were better off not seeing it."  
He was probably just saying that to be kind, but it did make me feel a little better.  
  
He eventually joined the crowd, still clearly eager to recruit the knight, who we soon learned was called Lancelot. Arthur dubbed him 'Sir Lancelot the Brave'. I would have dubbed him 'Sir Lancelot the Nutcase', but hey, I wasn't king.  
  
"You almost put me in mind of the Black Knight." Arthur told him shortly after.  
"Oh, he is my brother." Lancelot said, "He's crazy."  
It must be a family trait, I thought, as Bedevere fixed up Lancelot's arm and one of the villagers repaired the damaged sleeve of his mail. In the meantime, we rested for a couple of hours and had a meal before setting off again.  
  
"You're not going through Angnor Forest, are you?" the villager from earlier asked when he saw what direction we were headed.  
"If it's on our way, quite possibly." Arthur told him.  
"Well, be careful. It's dangerous in there."  
  
Arthur thanked him for the warning, but of course, we didn't avoid Angnor Forest, as Lancelot told us he knew of at least one other knight who might be willing to join and he called the forest a shortcut. Arthur accepted this, and I tried to stay brave and not let him down, as I was sure I had done sufficiently already. At one point, I even saw a discarded sword on the ground and I considered picking it up. I'd never used one in my life, but perhaps I would feel safer simply having it on me.  
They were probably silly thoughts, but they were interrupted anyway when we heard a terrifying roar that made me practically jump out of my skin. Naturally, the others had to go and investigate it, although I would have been perfectly happy if we decided to head in the opposite direction.  
  
"Patsy, stay back a bit." Arthur said, and I did so gladly as we rounded a steep hill.  
  
The thick trees and hedges opened up into a clearing and suddenly we came almost face to face with a huge dragon, up on two legs and snarling in our direction. For a moment, I expected it to attack us, but I looked down and saw two people already fighting it. Or rather, one person was fighting it, dressed all in white - at least from what I could see just from behind - with wavy, dark brown hair. The other, wearing a green and white checker board pattern, seemed to be cowering on the ground behind the first, and I could definitely relate to him.  
  
"My God!" Lancelot exclaimed, "It's the Dragon of Angnor!"  
"Of course - Angnor Forest!" Bedevere added, "I knew I recognised the name!"  
  
My next thought was "Who cares about the name? Let's just get out of here!" I even briefly considered just bolting, with or without the others, but I forced myself to stay. There was at least three, possibly four fighters between me and it, after all. I still felt a little guilty about the thought of us leaving the two strangers to their fate, especially when Arthur and the knights realised the lone fighter could never beat the dragon by himself.  
  
Fortunately this time, there was nothing to stop them from helping the two in danger, and when the dragon swiped the sword out of the fighter's hand, they hesitated no longer. It only seemed like an instant later that Arthur and Lancelot were either side of him, defending him from the dragon's continued blows, slashing at its arms and jaw.  
Meanwhile, Bedevere had made a beeline for the man's sword, soon managing to toss it back to him and the two of them joined the fight, now four men against the great beast. That was when it dawned on me that the sword I saw earlier might have belonged to the frightened man, and even if it didn't, maybe he could still use it. I raced back to where I saw it and returned as quickly as I could, although I was quite hesitant to get too close to the action. But I plucked up my courage - for what it was - and cautiously went up to him, handing him the sword. He briefly thanked me and sprang to his feet to join the fight. By then however, it was all but over, the dragon covered in slashes and wounds from the attacks of the other four. It lurched back a little and beat its wings a few times before it started to gain some air. Lancelot made an attempt to pursue it, but Arthur held him back as it soon managed to get a sufficient distance off the ground and fly away.  
  
"Damn it, we could have made food out of that!" Lancelot exclaimed.  
"Don't waste your energy." Arthur told him, "You're injured, remember?"  
  
"Lance! It is you!" the previously frightened man called.  
"Robin! We were just looking for you!"  
"What happened to your arm?" Robin asked when they got closer.  
"Oh, you know, the usual..." Lancelot waved dismissively.  
"Been picking fights again, have we?" Robin insinuated - he must have known Lancelot quite well.  
"They asked for it." Lancelot said, which was true. "Anyway, who's your new friend?"  
"Oh, this is Galahad. He's saved me a couple of times, now."  
"Oh, that first time was nothing, really..." Galahad said modestly.  
"You're hurt too." Robin noticed with concern.  
Galahad looked down and flexed his wounded hand with a grimace, seeming not to notice at first, but now the adrenaline of the fight was wearing off, he started to feel the pain.  
"Don't move it so much, you'll make it bleed more!" Bedevere told him, coming closer to inspect it. "Come here, I'll take care of it."  
"Thank you." Galahad said, following him.  
  
We rested again as Bedevere bandaged up Galahad's hand, both of them talking and smiling. Arthur was again eager to recruit Galahad, but he was unsure about Robin at first.  
  
"Oh, he doesn't usually get that scared." Galahad assured him, "He just lost his sword earlier, when we were trying to escape the dragon."  
"Yes, one of your servants returned it to me!" Robin added, pointing towards me.  
"Oh, well, I saw it on the ground before." I explained, "I thought it might be his..."  
"Well done, Patsy!" Arthur smiled.  
"But I was too late anyway - you'd just about beaten the dragon by then."  
"That doesn't matter, it was still very brave." he said, lifting a hand to my arm. "I'm proud of you, Patsy."  
  
I was at a loss for words for a moment and I hoped my face wasn't as flushed as it felt. But then I returned his smile and he squeezed and patted my arm before turning back to our new companions. I looked on at him as he got more acquainted with them, and I started to feel quite a bit better about myself. I knew I didn't have to be as brave as them; I was no fighter, after all. But I realised that if I could help out in little ways now and again, maybe I wouldn't be completely useless.  
  
Galahad did end up convincing Arthur to recruit Robin too, and so we returned to Camelot with all these knights, although we didn't stay long. The rest of the knights who had stayed there had, for some reason, become very silly. Perhaps it was boredom from having to stay there while we went off on adventures. In any case, they were being much too loud for our liking. We did stay one night though, all of us needing a proper rest.  
  
"They're not going to carry on like this all night, are they sire?" Robin asked.  
"Hopefully not." was all Arthur could tell him. "Surely they will wear themselves out soon."  
  
Apparently, Robin was a bit of a light sleeper, and although the rowdy knights did pack it in eventually, he didn't have the best night and wasn't at his best the next morning. Lancelot, however, could evidently sleep through anything and was out like a light, so he later said, even before it finally got quiet. I myself didn't fare too badly, but I suppose I was more tired than I might have been if I didn't have to carry that large pack the whole time, of course, and I still had a few aching muscles from it. Not to mention all I had been through that day, which the knights were probably a lot more used to than I was. To be honest, I wouldn't have minded staying a few more nights despite the noise, but obviously, I had no say in the matter.  
  
So off we set again, bright and early the next morning - albeit with poor Sir Robin trailing a little - all of a hopeful mind that the rowdy knights would grow tired of their own antics in the near future. Perhaps we could even find and recruit yet more knights. In these dangerous times, you could never have too many good fighters around.  
And it wasn't long before we found something to occupy us in the meantime. Remember that quest I mentioned earlier? Well, I didn't expect to see God in the sky, but I suppose no one would expect that... And as for this 'Holy Grail' thing our king was told to find, it just looked like a cup to me, and there were plenty of them back at the castle. But they all seemed to consider it very important, so off we went.  
  
We did have a few setbacks for a while though, including coming across a castle full of French knights who were less than cooperative. Which was a shame, because we could have had at least one more night of rest in proper beds, rather than having livestock catapulted at us. (Yes, you read that right!) But instead we had to prepare for another night under the stars.  
  
_Aw, it sounds quite romantic when you put it like that..._  
  
It's not. It's cold and dark, and sometimes quite scary.  
  
_Shame you couldn't snuggle up with Arthur, eh?_  
  
Actually, it's funny you should mention that...  
  
_Ohh, really now? Go on, keep going!_  
  
I will... but perhaps later: To be continued.  
  
_Aww... Wait, I'm supposed to be the narrator, should I be saying that?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so everyone is here! :) (Well, almost everyone. There's one more person I'm introducing at the beginning of the next chapter, but all the main guys are here.)  
> And thus, Sir Robin _almost_ fought the Dragon of Angnor... ;)  
> I didn't want to kill the dragon, though - I love dragons, I'm very pro-dragon. I didn't even want it to be a dragon at first, but I had another look at the part of the film when the knights were introduced, and it mentions the Dragon of Angnor, so I just had to... :P  
> Deciding to make Bedevere basically the First-Aider of the group made me smile, as I am one myself at my work. :D  
> And you can blame Rick Wakeman for how Lancelot's fight ends. I dug out my old King Arthur album at some point while I was writing this fic, and kind of ~~stole~~ was inspired by some of the lyrics in [Lance's namesake's song.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4cyDv7eVoE)  
> (Very recommended album, BTW, released in the same year as Holy Grail, in fact! That song and [Merlin](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HnzJSlxq52I) are the best ones. God, I love Rick Wakeman...)  
> Oh, and that is a legit warning from Patsy at the beginning - I am a bit of a slow writer, so you might have to be patient with me a lot of the time... ^^;


	3. Always Look on the Bright Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patsy has a good morning and makes a new friend, but, oh dear, that doesn't last very long... Poor Patsy...  
>  ~~I kinda know how that feels today, tbh~~  
>  Oh, and social awkwardness, yay, my old friend...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Follow through, make your dreams come true  
> Don't give up the fight, you will be alright  
> 'Cause there's no one like you in the universe..."  
> [Muse - Invincible](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WV6-H8FCVqw)

_So, Patsy, how was your not-so-romantic night under the stars?_  
  
Not too bad, to be honest. It wasn't terribly cold, it didn't rain, and I started to feel a lot safer with all these knights around.  
  
_Oh, that's good._  
  
Yes, I woke up in quite a good mood the next morning, stirred awake by the earlier risers as they got ready and packed everything up. We didn't seem to be in any particular rush though, so I sat for a bit on a remaining blanket and looked out at the fading orange of the sky between the trees.  
  
"The sunrise is nice, isn't it?" I heard from a voice beside me.  
"It is." I said, glancing around to one of the other servants.  
"You're the king's servant, aren't you?" he asked, taking a seat next to me on the blanket.  
"That's right." I said, then offered my hand, which he shook. "Patsy. And you?"  
"I'm Sir Lancelot's servant," he told me, pointing to the black and white griffin emblem on his tunic. "Concorde."  
  
Most of our new band of knights acquired their own servants on the way to Camelot, but Concorde had been with Lancelot for a while. Although personally, I thought he seemed to have too nice a temperament for such a violent and scary master.  
  
"Oh, he's not so bad, really." Concorde told me, "As long as you don't piss him off."  
"I'll be sure to remember that..." I joked, although I couldn't imagine anything I could do that would possibly annoy Sir Lancelot.  
"Hey, at least you're not his enemy, eh?" he said, nudging me a little with his elbow.  
"That's true." I smiled, "I'd probably be dead by now!"  
This made us both laugh, until we heard the gruff, deadpan voice from behind us.  
  
"Well, nice to know what the _servants_ think of me." Sir Lancelot said, with an unfavourable emphasis on our positions. "I'll have to bear that in mind."  
"Oh, shit!" Concorde exclaimed as we both startled.  
  
I was too scared to say anything for the moment, and just tried to avoid eye contact with the most imposing knight in our group who I had just been talking about behind his back, figuratively of course.  
  
"We didn't mean anything by it, sir." Concorde tried to explain.  
"Forget it." Lancelot told him, waving it off. "But when you're done making friends, the king's about ready to set off again."  
"Yes sir." Concorde said, following him as he went to join the rest of the group.  
"You'd better start getting ready too." Lancelot said as he turned back to me, and I finally looked up at him meekly.  
"Of course... sir." I answered before he led Concorde away.  
  
So much for not annoying him, I thought. I had to take a moment to mentally kick myself, putting my head in my hands with a groan before packing up the remaining blanket and joining the others. It wasn't usually like me to talk about someone behind their back like that, and as Concorde said, I didn't mean to be malicious or insulting in any way. I suppose I just got caught up in the moment of sharing a joke with a potential new friend. It was just unfortunate that it had to involve someone with no apparent sense of humour.  
  
That wasn't a very kind thought to have either, I chided myself, feeling yet more guilty about my opinion of Sir Lancelot. I tried shake off these thoughts as I caught up with Arthur and the gathered knights, but I returned to avoiding eye contact with Lancelot, although sharing a couple of awkward glances with Concorde near him.  
  
I took my place with Arthur, who it seemed wasn't in the best of moods himself, the previous day's setbacks evidently still playing on his mind. But we soon discovered that, although he apparently got up after me - which was unusual - he wasn't actually sleeping the whole time, rather thinking about how next we should proceed. He had come up with a plan that he and the knights should split off in different directions, hoping that covering more ground would give them more luck in their search for the Holy Grail.  
  
I was in two minds about this plan. I wasn't too fond of the idea of losing the potential protection of all the knights, not to mention my new friend, as I was looking forward to actually having someone to talk to on our travels. I wondered if he thought the same, but I didn't look back at him, not wanting to appear too clingy or needy so soon. On the other hand, it might be nice to be alone with Arthur again. Not that it did much good before, but I felt like we might have been a bit closer by now. Perhaps he would feel more inclined to talk to me more often, or I would have the confidence to start a conversation myself.  
  
As it happened, Arthur still kept Sir Bedevere around anyway, who he was closest to, of course. I think this was when I really started to worry that Arthur would possibly be more interested in Bedevere than me. That was, if he was interested in men at all, which I still highly doubted. It could have just been due to the two of them being more alike, closer in terms of class, and evidently more intelligent than most around them, including me, admittedly. After all, I had just made friends with Concorde, who I could probably relate to better in general, so perhaps I shouldn't have worried about Arthur and Bedevere's friendship.  
  
It was a shame though, having to separate from my new friend so soon, but hopefully it wouldn't be for too long. I didn't get along quite as well with Sir Bedevere's servant, unfortunately. Not that we _disliked_ each other, per se; we just didn't seem to click as well as Concorde and I did. So we mostly travelled in silence while Arthur and Bedevere continued having occasional short conversations, and I could hardly believe I was almost wishing that Arthur kept Lancelot with him instead.  
  
It was nice listening to Arthur's voice though, even if it wasn't directed towards me and I didn't understand most of what he was saying. And of course, inevitably, my eyes occasionally started wandering again, and I inwardly cursed. I was only making this harder on myself, and if my feelings for him got any stronger, which was probably likely, this was just going to be akin to torture. Unfortunately, there wasn't much else to occupy me, as the next few days were largely uneventful, which did little to lift Arthur's spirits, and each dark night in the forest did even less for mine.  
  
"I hope it doesn't take as long for us to find the Grail as it did to find knights." Arthur sighed as we settled down for one of those nights.  
  
If I was honest, part of me didn't especially care about finding the Grail; Arthur probably wouldn't need me anymore after his quest was finished, so I almost hoped it would last as long as possible. But another, less selfish part wanted my king to fulfil any and all his dreams and ambitions, even if it was without me. I wanted to tell him as much, but not normally being a big talker, I'm not always sure how to express myself. I did manage to muster up a few words of encouragement, though.  
  
"It could be worse, sire." I said, sitting in front of him. "At least you have some help now."  
"That's true." he agreed with a slight smile, "They are a fantastic group, aren't they?"  
  
In terms of them being strong and capable fighters, I couldn't disagree with him, of course. I didn't want to tell him about my tense moment with Sir Lancelot that morning though, and even less so about my jealousy of Sir Bedevere having more of his attention than me. Still, I was glad that I made him smile a little, and I hoped I could cheer him up some more.  
  
"They'll probably give you a better chance than if you were still on your own." I could at least admit.  
"I hope so.."  
"Don't be too down, sire. You've only just started this quest, after all." I reminded him.  
  
His smile widened a little more and it seemed his resolve was starting to return to him, making him look like his regular, strong-willed self again.  
  
"You're right. I won't let a little bit of adversity defeat me. Thank you, Patsy."  
  
I gave a small, modest shrug, trying to hide the flush I once again felt on my face, but happy I was making him feel better.  
  
"If it's something you really want, I know you'll do it." I continued, "And I'm sure something will happen soon that will make you more hopeful."  
"I think it just did..." he said softly, those beautiful, deep, blue eyes meeting mine intently.  
  
I was quite captivated for a few seconds, but then I had to break his gaze before it became too obvious, my eyes flickering downwards as my skin grew even hotter.  
  
"This can't be a great situation for you though, Patsy." he realised. "It's often been quite dangerous so far, and now most of the knights aren't here. I wouldn't be surprised if you wanted to go home."  
  
I looked back up at him, not sure I liked that I'd given him cause to worry about me, but it also made me realise that he cared enough _to_ worry.  
  
"But I don't." I assured him, "I'll keep following you for as long as you need me to."  
"You will, won't you?" he asked, his face softening.  
"Of course, sire."  
"I was hoping you'd say that..." he said, lifting a hand to cup my cheek, eyes still locked with mine. "Sweet, loyal Patsy..."  
  
I couldn't help but let out a slight gasp as my heart suddenly started pounding, but didn't react too much in case I was misreading the situation. I desperately wanted to though, wanted to put my hand on his, lean into his soft touch, maybe even turn in and kiss his palm. I wanted to show not only my affection for him, but my belief in him, and that I meant every word I said. Would he want me to do that, or would he pull away in shock and disgust? Both possibilities flashed through my mind in an instant, but I forced myself to keep still and wait for any further moves from him. And just then, I could have sworn that he leaned in ever so slightly, almost imperceptibly, before seeming to decide against it. Maybe it was just my imagination, but even so, I ached to take the initiative for myself and steal a kiss from my king. A dozen more scenarios - good and bad - went through my head at that moment; would he accept and return the kiss, maybe even put his arms around me? Oh, how I longed to be wrapped in those strong arms, so warm and safe, and to feel such enticing lips against my own. And I couldn't help wondering how his short beard would feel against my skin, as we deepened the kiss, fell to the ground and...  
  
But then again, he could have pulled away from that too, a far more likely possibility, I thought. He probably would have at least recoiled and walked away, maybe even sent me away. He could have even killed me for it, his sword still at his hip. He was a man of God, after all, and I knew all too well what they thought of people like me.  
  
So perhaps it should have been a relief when his hand moved down to my shoulder, to give a couple of light taps in a friendly, depressingly platonic way, but I couldn't help feeling as if my heart just sank into the ground where I sat.  
  
"We should get some rest." he suggested, and I nodded.  
Before I knew it, he was stood and walking away to where he planned to sleep, in a very rare moment when I _didn't_ enjoy that view...  
  
_Oh, so close, yet so far..._  
  
Tell me about it.  
  
_I think you definitely deserved at least a kiss after what you said._  
  
That would have been nice, but alas, it was not to be that night...  
  
_Aw, you're making me a bit sad now, and probably the readers..._  
  
Sorry... If it makes you feel any better, things did pick up a bit soon after that.  
  
_Oh good, I'm sure we're all looking forward to that. But for now, that's the end of another chapter, and as much as I'd love to say something like "Tune in next week", ... come on... Patsy, stop laughing, please..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wanted to keep the Spamalot references to a minimum, (despite the title) preferring to stick to the film as much as possible, but I do love the part when Patsy cheers up Arthur, and I had to include my own version. :D


	4. Getting On With It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are looking up... and then down... and then back up again!  
> Also possible Tourette's Knights of Ni...? XD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Looking high and low, don't know where to go  
> I've got to double back, my friend."  
> [ZZ Top - Doubleback](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-MP9inZPwE)

_Right Patsy, you promised us a more positive chapter this time._  
  
Yes, and it will be. Although, we do find ourselves in quite a ridiculous situation at one point, which I'll get to later, but apart from that, things did start to improve. For one thing, Arthur actually got a lead on where to look for the Grail, thanks to an old man we met in a small, stone house on the outskirts of a wood. Well, when I say 'we', Arthur and Bedevere went in to talk to him while I waited outside, again in slightly awkward silence with Bedevere's servant. I was a bit antsy though, trying to be hopeful that my previous night's pep talk was coming true in there, especially if it put Arthur in a better mood. I didn't actually see the old man myself, but Arthur later recounted to me what he had said, and it did seem to have given him a little hope.  
  
"He could have been a bit more helpful, though." he added. "Why can't people like that ever give a simple straight answer?"  
  
I had to inwardly smile, as this old man sounded somewhat like my grandfather. He was always trying to sound all mystic and mysterious too. I haven't seen him in some years though, but I believe he's some sort of bridgekeeper nowadays. Ha, still doing all the mystic rubbish, I suppose.  
  
"But you were right, Patsy!" Arthur said happily, pulling me from my thoughts. "We've been pointed in the right direction now, at least."  
It was nice to see his enthusiasm return, see him smile again and hear that positive lilt in his voice. This cheered me up too, as until then, a part of me was still dwelling a little on what happened - or rather, what didn't happen - last night.  
  
Of course, our positivity didn't last; no big surprise, I know. About halfway through the wood, we were suddenly surrounded by a large group of very strange people who kept constantly yelping "Ni" and various other strange noises as us, as if it was some kind of compulsive tick. When they demanded of us a shrubbery, of all things, I was quite surprised Arthur actually went along with this silly situation rather than just challenging them like he did with the Black Knight. But then again, there were quite a lot of them compared with just him and Bedevere, so perhaps he didn't have much of a chance. If we still had Lancelot with us, maybe...  
  
"Why don't we just go around the wood, my liege?" Bedevere suggested.  
"We don't know how big it is." Arthur said, "It could take longer than just doing things their way."  
"Or maybe we could just pull a bush out of the ground..." I put in, pointing to one of many we were passing.  
"Do you think they don't know this wood well enough to recognise it?" he pointed out, "No, can't risk tricking them."  
  
Clearly, none of us were very happy to waste time going back the way we came, and it was already quite late in the afternoon. It didn't take us long to realise we weren't going to make it back to the previous village before the sun set, and I doubt I need to reiterate what that meant, or that at this point, I was dreading it.  
  
This night started off a particularly bad one, too; all the noises of the forest setting me on edge before very long, like the rustling of the bushes and trees as various nocturnal creatures scurried and flew around the place. And I wouldn't have minded the occasional owl hoot in and of itself, as owls were hardly a threat to humans, but combined with everything else, it made the forest sound quite spooky.  
  
The worst part was when I heard rustling in the leaves somewhere behind me that sounded lot like footsteps... or paw-steps... My imagination was running wild with worse case scenarios, picturing things like a great big wolf licking its lips at the easy meal in front of it, or maybe even that angry dragon back again. Whatever it was, I didn't dare look round to see, not wanting to be face to face with the huge, glistening teeth and glowing eyes I was picturing in my head. I could only hope that if it was going to eat me, it would make it as quick as possible, and when I heard a twig snap even closer, I curled up more and whimpered a little, waiting helplessly for those razor sharp teeth to sink into my neck...  
Then I heard a familiar voice in what would have been the same place as the imaginary beast.  
  
"Patsy? Are you alright?"  
Arthur. Thank goodness. A wave of relief washed over me and I let out a heavy exhale. There's nothing quite like suddenly being in the presence of the strongest and bravest person you know after being so frightened out of your wits.  
  
"You're trembling..." he noticed, putting a hand on my arm after kneeling down behind me.  
I took a moment to calm down a little and steady my breathing before I turned and looked up at him.  
  
"Oh, I... I just keep hearing noises." I explained, "But if it's just you, sire, I feel better."  
"Well, I just, ah, needed to get up for a minute, and I'm going back to bed, but..." he paused for a second, "I could stay here if you'd like... I mean, if it would make you feel safer..."  
"Oh... that would be nice, sire." I said, "That is, if you don't mind..."  
"Of course not, Patsy."  
"It's just that, there's only you and Sir Bedevere around at the moment, and sometimes I get a bit..."  
"It's alright, you don't have to explain."  
I was relieved he stopped me. I didn't want to say the word "scared" to someone as strong and brave as him. But perhaps I had already gotten used to having all those knights around.  
  
"I'll tell you what;" Arthur suggested, "I'll put my sword here in front of you, so if you wake up again during the night, it will be the first thing you'll see and it will remind you that I'm right here."  
He had brought Excalibur with him just in case, and as he spoke, he leaned forward over me and placed it, unsheathed, on the ground where I was facing, then laid down behind me on his back.  
  
"Oh, thank you..." I said.  
For a moment I wondered if I should turn over onto my back too, rather than lying with my back to him, but then he continued.  
"In fact, perhaps I should keep my hand on it, in case there is any danger and I can pick it up straight away."  
  
And then he turned on his side and put his arm around me to reach his sword, and I had to lower my face a little so he didn't see my eyes widen and my mouth fall open, somehow still managing to suppress a gasp this time. I just hoped he couldn't feel how hard my heart was now thumping as he settled down behind me.  
  
"Is that alright, Patsy?" he asked.  
"Y- yes... sire..." I managed to answer, albeit with a less-than-steady voice, which I also hoped he didn't notice too much.  
  
I tried not to tense up too noticeably either, fighting back the urge to turn and face him, or to stroke his arm, or do anything that would give away my feelings for him, as much as I wanted to. I couldn't help but wonder what was going through his mind too. Was I being a burden, or did he really not mind doing this for me? Either way, I was grateful. Most other people might have laughed at me, said I was being silly, but Arthur always seemed understanding.  
  
And after a little while, when the initial excitement and nerves started to ease off somewhat, I began to feel quite relaxed, contented even, being held in Arthur's arms, no matter the actual reason he gave for it. I had no delusions that he was doing it for any other reason than to protect me from - or at least to make me worry less about - any potential danger. But that didn't mean I couldn't savour the warmth of his body against my back, although we were still clothed of course, and his arm over me. Hopefully, with me facing away from him and his eyes surely closed by now, he didn't see the large, satisfied smile spread across my face. I tried not to think about the future, about whether or not anything more would ever happen between us. Right then I just had to live in the moment and think myself lucky that as much as this had happened, and that right then and there, I was happy, warm and safe.  
  


_Aww, Patsy! You did get to snuggle up with Arthur after all!_

I told you things would improve - I wasn't just talking about the quest, you know.

_You two look so cute like that, too..._

It got my mind off those weirdos and their stupid shrubbery for while as well.

_I'll bet... Almost a shame to continue with the next chapter..._

Take your time...

_I thought you might say that... but we'll see..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He protec, he attac, but most importantly, he got Patsy's back <3 ~~(as the kids say...)~~  
>  And did I get you to picture that big, adorable Gilliam smile before you saw the picture? Hopefully I've done justice to it...  
> Oh, and [here's the version without the softening and lighting effects.](https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/c86245ba-76f9-411c-912f-bf2837d8af2c/ddny2jo-8907a377-a3fd-4f3a-84f2-114c5c7505c2.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7InBhdGgiOiJcL2ZcL2M4NjI0NWJhLTc2ZjktNDExYy05MTJmLWJmMjgzN2Q4YWYyY1wvZGRueTJqby04OTA3YTM3Ny1hM2ZkLTRmM2EtODRmMi0xMTRjNWM3NTA1YzIuanBnIn1dXSwiYXVkIjpbInVybjpzZXJ2aWNlOmZpbGUuZG93bmxvYWQiXX0.A5M2c0KU7kBLL4e5lDFGfl3GH6Vv845-UF4a7VqhL6A)  
> I realise I made a mistake though - while I was drawing it, I'd forgotten that I wrote the part about Patsy feeling Arthur's warm body against his back, but he's not quite pressed up close enough for that in the pic... :/ I tried to rewrite the line, but nothing else quite sounded as good... Maybe it will get redrawn sometime in the future when (or if) my art skills improve, but for now, I hope it doesn't ruin the scene or anything... ^^;  
> I was also hoping to get this chapter out yesterday, (Jan 8th ;) ) but I might have ended up rushing it a bit...


	5. Keep 'em Laughing As You Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur finishes his side-quest and finds everyone again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "When you're feeling in the dumps,  
> Don't be silly chumps.  
> Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing."

_Oh, Patsy? It's time to wake up..._  
  
Aw, just five more... hours...  
  
_Sorry, we've gotta get on with the story. Nice try, though._  
  
Alright, you're right. Just give me a couple more minutes...  
  
Warm, safe... home...  
I stirred awake with these thoughts, although it took me a few seconds to remember and realise why. I cracked my eyes open and saw Excalibur still right in front of me, but when I flicked my eyes down to the hilt, Arthur's hand was no longer on it, and it was another moment before I noticed where it was. No wonder I was warm...  
  
_You don't mean..._  
  
Yes, he had drawn his arm in tighter around me during the night, hand on my chest, either deliberately or in his sleep. Probably the latter, although it was nice to imagine it was the former.  
He was still asleep, but only for a few more minutes, because as much as I wanted to make the most of this moment, I just couldn't help myself, and foolishly, I put my hand on his at my chest. This stirred him awake and I pulled my hand away again before he noticed. He unintentionally rubbed my chest a little as he woke before he realised the position he was in. When he did realise, he shifted slightly awkwardly before lifting his arm away.  
  
"Sorry..." he mumbled  
"'s alright." I said, trying to sound nonchalant.  
"We should get up before the other two spot us." he suggested, "Wouldn't want them to get the wrong idea."  
There could have been a slight faltering in his voice at the last part, but I couldn't be sure.  
"Uh... n- no..." I muttered, trying - and possibly failing - to sound like I was in agreement.  
  
He reached over for his sword and re-sheathed it, and I continued my attempts to seem calm, but I could help thinking that it was me who had gotten the wrong idea. I must have forgotten to keep telling myself not to get my hopes up. I also thought I told myself last night that he was only doing what he did to protect me, but evidently, some dangerously optimistic thoughts crept into my mind as well, probably influenced in the last few minutes by the position we were just in.  
  
"Has it always been that bad for you in the forest at night?" he asked me as we started packing up.  
"Well, it's not usually that bad," I told him, "But every night in a row makes me think it's more likely that something might happen."  
"I wish you'd told me earlier."  
"Oh, you've got too much on your mind already without worrying about my problems, sire."  
"Don't be silly, Patsy." he said, pausing in what he was doing and turning to me. "We're all on this quest together, and if anyone has a problem, I'd like to try to help. After all, I'm your leader; that's my job."  
He dropped his gaze for a second, then looked back up a little more seriously.  
"And that... that goes especially for you, you know." he added.  
"Really?" I asked, wondering if this was about to turn into a confession.  
Perhaps last night and this morning had had an effect on him after all. Although, a few seconds later, I realised I was mistaken, once again.  
"Of course." he said, "You are my servant, and I have to look after you. That's also my job."  
"Oh, right..."  
  
I tried to keep my voice from cracking at the confirmation that he was just doing it out of a sense of duty after all, especially since I already knew it. I wished he wouldn't keep making me momentarily think otherwise.  
  
"Really though," he continued, lifting a hand to my arm for a second. "If you do need me, let me know."  
"Thank you, sire. And I appreciate last night." I told him.  
"No problem, Patsy."  
  
Later that morning, we at did last run into a shrubber to help us with or little quest-within-a-quest. I paid him, and Bedevere's servant helped me carry the shrubbery as we eventually returned to those weird knights we met yesterday, hoping this would appease them. Unfortunately, some people are never happy, and they wanted another one, and made other ridiculous demands of us as well. We weren't about to go trudging all the way back there again, though; we had wasted too much time already. Because of all this, Arthur had finally had enough of their nonsense, but luckily, Sir Robin soon passed by, along with his minstrels, and he and Arthur managed to incapacitate the group of weird knights and we all made our escape. Although, Robin had to guide us away from a danger he himself encountered, not wanting to stumble upon it again, but in a few more hours, we were out on the other side of the wood.  
  
It wasn't long before we saw Lancelot and Galahad coming along the edge of the wood in our direction. They seemed to be arguing about something, and so didn't see us at first.  
"You should be thanking me." Lancelot said.  
"Oh, you think so, do you? Well-" Galahad stopped when he spotted us. "Hey, look!"  
  
Our two groups continued to make our way over to each other, both parties happy to see the other. Lancelot greeted Robin, who, along with Bedevere, also welcomed back Galahad. I myself perked up as soon as I saw a familiar - and missed - face peer out from behind Lancelot.  
  
"Concorde!"  
"Patsy!"  
  
We strode up to each other and hugged, but this made him flinch in pain, revealing to me an injury he had from getting hit by a stray arrow during his and Lancelot's travels. Of course, this got Bedevere's attention and he came over to us in concern.  
"Oh, it's alright," Concorde told him, "One of the physicians at Swamp Castle fixed me up before we left."  
He lifted up some of his clothing a little to show Bedevere the bandages wrapped around his lower chest.  
"Oh good." Bedevere said, satisfied. "I'll still need to change them every so often and keep it clean, though."  
Concorde accepted this, and we attempted to continue our journey, but soon had to stop for a short while.  
  
"You're limping." Bedevere noticed about Galahad.  
"Oh, it's nothing, really. I'm getting used to it now."  
"Oh no, come on, you don't want it to get worse, do you?" he pointed out, "Especially since it has been getting colder these last few days."  
"I don't want to slow everyone down." Galahad said, turning to Arthur.  
"Don't worry about that." Arthur told him, "If you have an injury that needs taking care of, I'd rather you let Bedevere help you."  
  
The two of them persuaded Galahad, and Bedevere sat him down on a nearby log and helped him expose the wound on his thigh. I couldn't see from where I was, most of the rest of us giving them some space and privacy, but by the look on Bedevere's face, it seemed quite bad.  
"How did you do that?" he asked.  
"Slipped on a rock." Galahad told him, "It was dark and raining heavily."  
Robin stuck close by for a bit of moral support though, and of course, his minstrels weren't far away to attempt to offer the same.  
  
"The wise Sir Bedevere  
With all his medical ken  
Didn't have a thing to fear  
As he healed Galahad again  
  
"He wasn't afraid of the dirt or cold  
Or of hurting his fellow knight  
Even on a wet log covered in mould  
Or with a bandage that looks quite tigh-"  
  
"Oh, do shut up Neil. That's quite distracting." Bedevere snapped, then turned back to Galahad. "Actually, am I hurting you?"  
"Maybe just a little, but it's fine."  
"Well, I'll just loosen them a bit, but they still need to be a little bit tight," he explained, "So it doesn't start bleeding again."  
"Sure, do whatever you have to."  
"And don't worry about the mould. It's actually quite good for wounds."  
"Another one of your loopy theories?"  
"You don't trust me?"  
"I'm here, aren't I?"  
Galahad gave Bedevere a slight smirk, which he returned with a smile as he continued cleaning and wrapping Galahad's leg. When we set off again, Galahad did trail a bit, but Bedevere and Robin occasionally helped him when needed, over any tricky terrain.  
  
In the meantime, Concorde and I caught up with our respective adventures. He told me about the carnage at Swamp Castle at the hands of his master, making me glad I wasn't there. He was also happy to learn of our being guided to an Enchanter who would hopefully take us a few steps further in this quest.  
It helped take my mind off Arthur for a bit, despite obviously still walking behind him. And Bedevere was right to be concerned about the cold, as a few flakes of snow started to fall by evening. In fact, we had to dig out some extra blankets when next we settled down for the night.  
  
"Will you be alright from now on, Patsy?" Arthur asked, "Now that we have all the knights with us again?"  
"I... suppose so..."  
"Remember to tell me if otherwise, won't you?"  
"Of course, sire." I smiled slightly.  
  
For a second, I wondered if he actually wanted me to, but it was probably just my imagination again. Although since that morning, I was starting to feel occasionally somewhat misled, maybe even led on, but I was sure that wasn't Arthur's intention. He probably had no idea what he was doing to my feelings, and I wasn't even sure I could confide in Concorde about any of this, even though he was probably the closest thing I had to a best friend, not that I had any other friends to compare him with...  
So I just tried to focus on the current positives: everyone was together again, and we were hopefully a lot closer to finding the Grail, both of which we were all happy about.  
  
_That's the spirit, Patsy. At least you were safer now. You probably wouldn't be imagining big wolves and dragons anymore._  
  
Yes, I could at least be glad about that.  
  
_Maybe Arthur could be persuaded to snuggle up with you because of the cold this time..._  
  
Well, you'll just have to wait and see...  
  
_I like the sound of that..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, this is a late chapter, and even more so than the last one. I slightly extended Bedevere's part in this chapter from what I previously planned, (although that was partly because I almost forgot that Galahad was injured too, not just Concorde... ^^; ) as well as given the minstrels a (slightly clunky) song as a little tribute to our recently departed Terry and Neil. <3 So I would have liked to have finished it for Terry's birthday on the 1st... Ah well, blame work... :P  
> And I don't know, maybe it's not so great a tribute to Terry himself, rather than my version of one of his characters, (the First-Aider thing) and of course Neil would have come up with much better lyrics than me, XD but it's the best my frazzled brain can manage at the moment...  
> So long guys, we'll miss you. Say 'hi' to Graham for us! <3  
> \---  
> But in more positive news, the other Terry has finally managed to finish and release 'The Man Who Killed Don Quixote', so go and see it if/whenever you're able. I saw it yesterday, it's awesome. Perhaps not his very best, but still really great.  
> So go! Go support Vance, please! :D


	6. A Year Passes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our heroes find themselves in the frozen land of Naedor (sp?) for a couple of chapters, at the start of the year we don't see in the film.

_Welcome back again, everyone. When we last left the group, it seemed it was getting colder, is that right Patsy?_  
  
Yes, in fact, a few days after we all reunited, there was quite a thick layer of snow covering the ground in all directions. I would have thought it quite pretty if it wasn't so cold.  
  
_I thought you were going to think positive again._  
  
Oh yes, you're right. Ahem. Always look on the bri-  
  
_No no, no singing, just get on with the story..._  
  
Fair enough.  
Well, having to put positivity aside for just a minute, the cold and the snow did actually slow us down somewhat. We were hoping for it to have the opposite effect, that we would want to move quicker to keep warm, but it did seem to make us more sluggish, really. Plus, the snow coverage made the ground more hazardous in places, and we often had to watch our step. Not to mention trying to avoid slipping and falling, poor Sir Galahad especially not wanting to repeat that experience. Thankfully, we only had to spend one night out in these conditions, and even that ended up better than I expected.  
  
When we found a sufficiently flat area, we made a few fires to sit around in small groups, and Sir Bedevere advised us to get up and walk around for a bit every so often to keep our blood flowing easier in the cold. Arthur and I sat by one fire with a blanket each around us. I tried to warm myself up, rubbing my hands together in front of the fire, but I still couldn't stop shivering. At one point, Arthur stood up, and at first I thought he was just having another walk around. But I soon heard him rummaging around in the pack on the ground behind me. As I half turned towards him, he cursed under his breath, then went over to one of the other groups. I turned back to the fire, thinking that I could ask him what was wrong when he came back. A couple of minutes later though, I felt a second blanket being draped over my shoulders.  
  
"I borrowed it from Lancelot and Concorde." Arthur told me as moved beside me, "They, ah, don't seem to need it for the moment..."  
Concorde? And Lancelot were...? Was he... like me? Perhaps I was wrong about not being able to confide in him about Arthur after all.  
"Oh... thank you, sire." I said as I pulled it a little tighter around myself.  
  
I smiled and glanced up at him, then noticing his eyes flick down to my hands. He took off one of his armour gauntlets and reached down to one of my hands, gasping a little when he felt how cold they still were. So he removed his other gauntlet and knelt down in front of me as he took both my hands, rubbing them with his, one after the other and back again.  
  
It took me a little by surprise, but he was so casual about doing it that I tried not to make a big deal about it. His hands were warm and surprisingly soft too, probably because they were always covered, I realised. It made me feel a little self-conscious about my rough and slightly calloused hands, which couldn't have made this feel as nice for him as it did for me.  
  
"You need to start wearing gloves, I think." he said, "At least through the Winter. You wouldn't want your hands suffering too much from the cold."  
  
Maybe he did care about me more than I realised, or would have expected, especially earlier in our journey.  
  
"Th- thank you... for c-... for helping." I couldn't help stumbling over my words. "Most people wouldn't care that much about a servant."  
"Then most people are idiots." he said, "Or heartless. Idiots for risking the servant not being useful to them anymore, if nothing else... or heartless, because servants are still human... with feelings, who are affected by the cold as much as anyone."  
  
I don't think it was my imagination that he sounded more sincere about the second point, especially since he squeezed my hands a little more as he said it.  
  
"Better?" he asked about my hands, now warmer.  
"Much." I smiled, "Thank you."  
"You don't have to keep thanking me." he said, returning my smile.  
"Well, you don't have to keep doing all the things you do for me." I told him, "Again, most people wouldn't."  
_Especially kings_ , I mentally added, recalling the time I used to think that his kindness wouldn't last.  
"Listen, I know I said it was my job to look after you, but... It's not just that." he continued, "I'd like to think we are at least friends too at this point."  
  
_At least_ friends? I was in danger of reading too much into that, yet again. But still I waited for a more definite sign that there was more in his heart, or that there might be in the near future.  
  
"That's nice of you to say. I was hoping that, too."  
It was a half-truth. Of course I wanted more, ideally, but I could settle for being just friends if the only other alternative was less, or even nothing.  
  
"And it's the least I can do since you are always helping me, to be fair." he glanced over at my pack as he spoke to make his point. "You even helped us with one of our fights when we first met Galahad and Robin."  
  
We smiled again as we recalled the day we found everyone, and even though I had my less-than-courageous moments that day, he only seemed to want to focus on the good ones.  
  
"You're a good person, Patsy." he said, "You deserve to be looked after when you need it."  
This time it took most of my willpower to hold back the urge to kiss him. He really was making me feel gradually better about myself throughout our journey, whether he realised it or not.  
  
"Why don't we take one last walk around before we turn in?" he suggested, "Help you warm up a bit more?"  
"Sounds nice." I said.  
  
We stood and started to wander the area, Arthur also using it as an opportunity to check on everyone one last time for the night. I just savoured the rare moment of being able to walk beside him rather than behind him.  
  
We were soon reminded of another piece of advice Sir Bedevere gave us all - that it would be a good idea to huddle up for warmth at night - when we walked passed him doing as such with both Galahad and Robin. Galahad was between the other two, possibly because he was the recently injured party and they were still worried about him. They looked as though they were already asleep, and looked quite happy too, it had to be said.  
  
"Those three have been getting quite close recently, I believe." Arthur commented.  
  
This didn't seem to bother him, nor did Concorde and Lancelot, which I chose to take as a good sign. I would have expected him to put a stop to that kind of camaraderie among his men, but his nature continued to pleasantly surprise me.  
  
We eventually circled back to our original spot, returning the spare blanket to Concorde and Lancelot on the way; I had an inkling I might not need it anymore. When we returned, Arthur didn't feel like lying on the cold ground this time, even on blankets, so he sat up against a tree instead.  
  
"We should take Sir Bedevere's advice, of course." he said as opened one arm out, inviting me to huddle up with him.  
"Of course." I agreed, trying not to sound too enthusiastic.  
  
And hopefully I seemed calm as I sat next to him, tentatively putting an arm around his back in response to his around my shoulders. He seemed happy enough, and he even let me rest my head on his shoulder. I let out a contented sigh as my eyes gladly fell closed, and he tightened his arm around me for a second in response. It was nice being held so close against his wonderful body and it was fortunate that I was a little too tired to become in anyway excited by it - which was a possibility by this point - or for my hands to be tempted to start wandering.  
  
I was just starting to drift off when I heard footsteps in the snow in front of me and opened my eyes to see Concorde, looking a little sheepish and shivering, though wrapped in his blanket. I glanced up at Arthur, who I realised was now asleep, so I put a finger to my lips to ask that Concorde try to be quiet. He moved a little closer so he could do so.  
  
"Lance won't let me huddle with him." he whispered, "He says he doesn't need to. I don't suppose..."  
  
Wordlessly, I opened my free arm and the blanket covering it, letting Concorde happily snuggle up on my other side. Arthur stirred awake for a minute though, probably due to the unavoidable movement against him.  
  
"Oh... hello, Concorde." he muttered.  
"Sorry sire," I said, "He was cold and Sir Lancelot wouldn't let him get warm with him, so... I hope you don't mind..."  
"Of course not. You're a good person, Patsy." he reiterated, "I've a mind to have a word with Lancelot in the morning, though."  
  
It didn't take us much longer to get relaxed again, and a short while later and I hardly even felt the cold anymore, so snug and content between my king and my best friend, soon drifting off uninterrupted this time.  
  
_Ah, looks like Bedevere helped you get close to Arthur this time._  
  
Yes, maybe I should thank him for that.  
  
_Let's hope it continues this way._  
  
Well, I'm not giving anything away...  
  
_Quite right too..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't resist a bit more snuggling when I got to the Winter part, especially when I realised it might coincide with today and I could make it like a little Valentine's gift for Patsy - all good things for him in this chapter. (Sad, ain't I? XD )
> 
> But isn't that just typical - I don't even do Valentine's Day irl, and this is the chapter I get done on time? Smh at myself... -.-  
> (Well, I say on time. I was aiming for this morning before work, but hey...)
> 
> Anyway, Happy Valentine's Day, Patsy! <3 And everyone, really. ~~Except Lance, because he's an island, apparently...~~
> 
> (Fyi, I might actually take a little break from this for a bit. My mind's been a bit too consumed with this fic lately and probably could do with a rest... :P )


	7. The Long, Dark Wintertime of the Soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alright, that's definitely a long enough break, let's get back to it. And Patsy's been having much too nice of a time in the last chapter, so let's ramp up the drama and angst a bit more, shall we?

So... Are we going to carry on with the story, or are you just going to sit there forever?  
  
_Aw, it's just that we've been left with the scene at the end of the last chapter for so long now, I almost don't want to wake you. The three of you look so cute._  
  
Sir Bedevere might say that you should so we don't get too cold from lack of movement.  
  
_Well, maybe..._  
  
Although we were woken early anyway by a commotion from Bedevere's group. I was jolted awake by various alarmed voices in that direction, but I wasn't yet quite aware enough to identify who they came from at first.  
  
"Holy shit!"  
"Oh my God!"  
"My liege!"  
"Lance, help!"  
  
Arthur was on his feet in a flash, ever alert and wanting to assist whoever was in trouble. It almost made me topple over to one side though, dragging Concorde with me, but I managed to steady myself on my arm.  
  
"What the Hell..." Concorde muttered as we scrambled upright again.  
  
We got to our feet, but I for one almost fell straight back to the ground again when we looked in the direction Arthur ran. Two large, grey wolves were right in front of the three knights. Fortunately, the wolves were facing away from them, but _un_ fortunately, they were in the process of tucking into the packs of our food the knights were supposedly guarding.  
  
Sir Lancelot joined them in seconds after hearing all the noise, but when the wolves realised they were outmatched, they bolted, taking our packs of food with them. Arthur and the knights shot after them a heartbeat later, and I started to worry about myself and the other servants being left alone without their protection. What if there were more wolves around, I wondered, knowing that they were usually in packs of more than two. But the group probably acted on instinct, or out of desperation that we would be without food. One of them could have stayed behind though, and a minute later, I realised that one of them _should_ have.  
  
Galahad was the first to have to stop, although he was only just still in sight when he did. It seemed he had still not fully recovered from his injury and probably just made it worse. He leaned against a tree for a moment holding his thigh, before he started to attempt limping back here. Concorde and I looked at each other, wordlessly nodded, then ran over to meet Galahad part way. We each got under an arm either side of him to steady him and help him the rest of the way back.  
  
"Thank you, my friends." he said.  
  
I almost wanted to tell him what I thought of his actions at this moment, but it was not my place. I knew that Sir Bedevere would not be very happy with him though, and sure enough, we heard his voice behind us a few moments later.  
  
"Galahad!" he yelled, "You idiot! I thought I told you to stay put."  
It was probably not in Sir Galahad's nature to stay behind while all others went to fight. Admirable as that may usually be, this time it was foolish.  
"Now your injury will take even longer to heal," Bedevere continued, "And you've probably made more work for me."  
I doubted he really meant that last part. He was just frustrated with worry about his friend.  
"Sorry..." Galahad said.  
"If the others don't return with two dead wolves, you will be sorry." Bedevere told him.  
  
We helped Galahad sit down on a large tree stump and Bedevere started to tend to him, but it wasn't a minute later when we realised a third knight had dropped out of the chase as Sir Robin joined us, still out of breath.  
  
"Lance... and Arthur... are still going." he panted. "How are they doing that?"  
"They're stronger than you, Rob, mate." Galahad teased.  
"I'll show you how strong I am in a minute." Robin countered.  
"Is that a promise?" Galahad smirked.  
"I can never tell if you two are flirting or threatening each other." Bedevere interrupted, shaking his head a little.  
"Whereas, you can always tell when I'm flirting with you..." Galahad said, his smirk now directed at his other companion.  
"Not in public, though." Bedevere scolded and prodded at Galahad's wound as he briefly glanced in our direction.  
"Ow..." Galahad yelped, "Sorry..."  
  
Concorde and I shuffled awkwardly on our feet a little, and I could have sworn Bedevere's face was now somewhat flushed after his exchange with Galahad. For a moment, I considered either telling him not to worry about us, or asking if we should give them more privacy, but very soon, the whole group was reunited anyway.  
  
As Robin said, Arthur and Lancelot were the last to give up the chase, and for a couple of minutes, I was hopeful, they being the two I usually had the most faith in to get things done. But my heart sank when they slinked back to camp in defeat. It was probably difficult to keep pace with something that had twice as many legs as yourself, though.  
  
"My apologies, everyone." Arthur said through a few heavy breaths of his own, "It seems I have failed you all."  
"My liege, I'm the one who should be sorry." Lancelot interjected, "I should have kept going for longer."  
"Loyal, brave... enthusiastic Sir Lancelot." Arthur replied, "You did all you could. There was no sense in wasting energy we will need from now on."  
"We should have guarded the food properly, though." Galahad admitted, "We could have killed those wolves if we didn't panic."  
"You can't blame yourselves for that. You were probably still half-asleep." Arthur reassured them too. "In any case, it's happened now, and it was nobody's fault, but now we shall have to manage."  
  
When he caught his breath again, he straightened himself up a little more in front of the group as he felt the need to give his knights a few words of encouragement in the face of their upcoming hardship.  
  
"I know this will not be easy, however we all knew the risks on a quest like this. You are the best and bravest knights in the land. That is why I chose you to join me. I could not do this quest without you. Nor could we make this journey without our hardworking servants."  
  
At this point, he momentarily glanced in my direction, but thankfully, I didn't have time to call attention to it by reacting in any way before he continued.  
  
"We shall have to be strong and dig deep. We don't know when we will have food again, and we will have to find a way to get through this. I believe in every one of you, and remember, God Himself has entrusted us with this quest."  
  
I watched him with admiration as he made his speech, which seemed to be doing the trick in restoring the knights' resolve. He always had a way with words and knew how to inspire and lift the spirits of his companions. He was well suited to being a leader. No wonder they all followed him. No wonder I - and everyone else who ever met him - admired him. He was so inspiring, and I was growing more fond of him each day.  
  
"That was amazing, all those things you said." I told him as we were preparing to set off early, thinking we might as well get a head start on the day.  
"I meant every word of it." he said, then turned to look at me and repeated, "Every word."  
I knew which part in particular he was referring to and I smiled at him as a silent 'thank you', which he returned before we continued packing up. It was always nice to be appreciated.  
  
Even as we set off though, the sun had still not yet fully risen, so we would have still been asleep otherwise. As a result, our energy was gradually depleating as our journey continued, being awoken early and forced to miss breakfast not exactly a good start to the day for such active travellers. There were too many of us to be quiet enough to do any hunting, although it was attempted a couple of times. No one wanted to talk about the last resort we all knew was looming, and if it wasn't for the cold Winter, we might have been able to handle the hunger for a couple more days.  
  
Truth be told, I was beginning to get a little paranoid that they might start with us servants, and even though I was sure Arthur would at least protect me from being 'chosen' - and possibly Concorde too, just because he was my friend - I wasn't looking forward to seeing the others suffer that fate. Although I probably wasn't thinking clearly since, for one thing, they needed us - as Arthur implied in his speech - or we wouldn't have been there at all. I was also forgetting another group in our party who, admittedly, were not as needed, and who were staying suspiciously quiet today, probably thinking the same as me.  
  
We had to take a couple more breaks than usual, and by late afternoon on one such break, at least one of our group was starting to become impatient. To be fair, he was the largest of us, possibly the strongest, and therefore probably the one who needed the most energy.  
  
Still, it came as quite a shock to see the long blade of a sword suddenly sticking out from one of the minstrels, a stream of thick, dark blood following it. The sword was retracted just as quickly and as the man dropped to the ground, Sir Lancelot turned and sliced his weapon across the chest of a second minstrel before I could look away. Arthur was there like a shot though, his arms around me again, and this time I didn't feel quite so bad about it, as it was clearly unexpected. I only heard the remaining two go down, but that didn't make it any better on my already churning stomach.  
  
"Are you alright?" Arthur asked softly, rubbing my back a little.  
"I will be..." I told him, "In a minute..."  
He stayed with me for that minute before he strode up to his knight to give him a piece of his mind.  
  
"Damn it, Lancelot!" Arthur yelled, "You could have given some warning!"  
"And you could have asked me first!" came Sir Robin's voice, "They are my minstrels!"  
"Sir Robin, you will get your turn." Arthur chided.  
"Excuse me, my liege, please go ahead."  
"You said we would have to find a way to get through this," Lancelot pointed out, "And I did. Problem solved."  
"Yes, but didn't you ever think that some people here might not do well with such a sight so suddenly?" Arthur questioned. "If they had some warning..."  
"Oh, so I have to tiptoe around your wussy servant, now?" Lancelot snapped, "It's not my fault if you chose one th-"  
  
I turned back to them - careful to avoid the bloody scene beside them - when I heard Arthur draw his sword, cutting off Lancelot's words. He had it pointed at Lancelot's throat but I doubt he actually intended to use it. He probably just drew it out of anger, or as a warning that his knight was out of line, which was quite flattering, really. Lancelot must have realised this too since he made no attempt to lift his own sword in defence, only raising an eyebrow at Arthur. Galahad then raced over and tried to get between them to calm them down.  
  
"Woah, woah, let's not start turning on each other." he said frantically, "We're all cold and hungry right now, but we've got to work together."  
"Yes, apologies my liege. My hunger got the better of me." Lancelot explained, "And I shouldn't have said what I did about your servant."  
"No, you shouldn't have, but I understand your frustration." Arthur admitted, "And as for the minstrels, what's done is done, and they really shouldn't go to waste now."  
  
We decided to cook and eat some of our newly acquired meat there and then, packing up the rest for later and hoping none of it went bad before we could eat that too. I still felt quite queezy about the whole thing. I'd never eaten another person before.  
  
"Just try to pretend it's lamb." Arthur said, sitting next to me. "You like lamb, don't you?"  
I nodded, then tentatively took a bite. It definitely didn't taste like lamb, but it wasn't as bad I thought it might be.  
"And, not to be crude," he continued, "But I'd try my best to keep it down if I were you, otherwise you'll have to eat some more."  
  
That was a good incentive to do to so. I didn't want to eat any more than I needed to. No one else seemed particularly bothered by the situation though, and I feared I was being a burden and showing Arthur up again. Although, Robin did glare at Lancelot as he took his first bite, but neither of them said anything. In fact, they barely said a word to each other until some time after we continued our journey - hoping to get a few more miles in before it got dark - when the entrance to a small town came into view. Mostly, we were very happy about it, but of course, Robin had another little bone to pick with Lancelot.  
  
"See, you could have waited just one day."  
"Easy, Rob..." Galahad soothed with a hand on his friend's back.  
  
It was already evening by then and it was getting quite dark. Most of the lamps and torches around the town were already lit up, and more were in the process of being lit. As nice as this looked, it did mean that any merchants had already packed up for the day, and Arthur still expressed concern about trying to get me some gloves for the Winter, as he mentioned last night.  
  
"Oh, don't worry about it, sire." I said.  
"I do worry, Patsy." he told me, although still looking around. "I worry about you."  
At that, he turned back to me and smiled.  
"But we should find shelter here anyway, so I suppose it can wait till tomorrow." he added.  
  
I smiled back at him. Of course he didn't mind looking after me, I knew that really. I should have been glad of the attention he paid me, which was more than most of the knights did for their servants, Lancelot possibly excepted, that is. It didn't last, though. It never seemed to. His attention was soon diverted elsewhere when we started to get settled in the town for the night.  
  
The women of the town seemed quite taken with the king and the knights, apparently not seeing their kind around the place all that often. They had heard stories of brave knights and quests though, and young women and girls did tend to be fantasists and dreamers. I doubted our journey would have appealed to them very much, however, especially today. But their admiration was particularly apparent after we indeed found a conveniently empty inn to check into, deciding to have a few drinks before bed.  
  
Robin was flirting with a curvaceous blonde, while a slimmer, darker haired young lady seemed to have her eye on both Galahad and Bedevere. Even Lancelot had a girl; she must have been very brave. I hoped he wasn't going to be too rough with her or anything, and part of me wished that Arthur would keep an eye on him, just in case. He was too preoccupied himself though, with two women figuratively hanging off his arm. One had thick, flaming red hair and eyes almost as blue as Arthur himself, the other's hair was like shimmering obsidian, and she had eyes of emerald. They were both quite full-lipped and very shapely. In short, they were two of the most beautiful women I had ever seen in my life, and they were practically throwing themselves at him. When he had choices like that, what chance did I have? Maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if I wasn't sitting almost directly opposite them and could see how much he seemed to be enjoying it.  
  
"Now, this doesn't seem fair." he said at one point, "Here I am with two lovely ladies and Patsy has none."  
"Oh, but he's not as handsome as you, your majesty." the redhead told him, which was certainly true enough.  
"Aw, but Patsy's adorable!" he argued.  
He was probably just being kind again though, and he was drunk anyway.  
"But why have a servant when we can have a king?" the dark haired woman pointed out.  
"Well, how abou-"  
He was cut off when she suddenly planted a kiss on him.  
"You make a persuasive argument, my lady..." he conceded when they parted.  
  
They went back to their flirting and I finished my current drink, thinking it a good excuse to get up and leave, not that they really noticed, that is. I let them believe I was getting up to go relieve myself; a kind of pretense, which is a word Arthur would later teach me.  
  
When I came back, I noticed Concorde sitting on his own in front of the fire and a small table just big enough for two people to set their drinks and meals on, although we were only having the former at the moment. He waved me over and I ordered us another drink each from the bar, then joined him, forcing myself not to even glance over at Arthur, but still kind of hoping he noticed.  
  
"Oh, nice one, mate!" Concorde said as I handed him his drink.  
I sat next to him and we had a couple of sips of our drinks before we began talking.  
"How are you feeling?" he asked, somewhat apprehensively.  
  
I waved my hand in a somewhat unsure, non-committal gesture; I did feel a little better about earlier events of the day, but now there were obviously other things getting me down. He understood, and I returned his question with my own concern.  
  
"How's your chest?"  
"Oh, much better now." he told me, "Sir Bedevere changed my bandages again when we arrived. He said they might be the last I'll need now."  
"Oh, good." I smiled.  
  
A couple of minutes passed and then he asked another question it seemed as though he'd been sitting on for a while.  
  
"So, you and the king, eh?"  
"What about me and the king?"  
"Well, you know, you were getting all cozy last night..."  
He nudged me in the ribs with his elbow a couple of times as he spoke.  
"Yeah, until you interrupted." I joked, giving him a slight shove back. "But no, there's nothing going on between us."  
"But you'd like there to be, I bet? Eh?" he suggested with another prod of his elbow.  
"You're drunk." I accused.  
"So're you." he countered.  
"Yeah, well..." I trailed off, glancing back slightly.  
"Oh yeah, he looks like he's having fun with those girls, huh?"  
I took another swig of my drink in frustrated response.  
"For a minute, I actually thought the four of you were gonna get together tonight." he told me.  
  
I gave a slight grimace at that thought. Even if we did it, we would probably end up having to be in pairs anyway, and so I might have had to force myself to be with one of the women just to see Arthur in that context. And even then, I'd have to watch him being with the other woman. No, even if it was suggested, I would have declined, and Concorde seemed to realise as much by my reaction. But he did remind me of something I was wondering myself.  
  
"Speaking of which, I thought you and Sir Lancelot got together last night until you came to us."  
"Oh, that's not the first time we've..." he trailed off, but I knew what he was implying.  
"You don't sound very happy about it." I pointed out.  
"Well, it's just a bit of a release for Lance..." he explained.  
"You mean he's using you?" I asked, worried. "Do you want me to talk to the king about it?"  
"No. I do still quite enjoy it, really." he told me.  
"And if I say anything, it might stop completely." I realised.  
"Yeah. It would be nice if it was more, but..." he paused, "I'm still just a servant, what can I do?"  
  
I didn't know what to tell him, but I was still worried about him, even more so than the woman Lancelot was with at the moment. It seemed like Concorde had feelings for his master, but was just being taken advantage of, and a part of me still wanted to tell Arthur about it and make it stop. But evidently, Concorde wanted to hold on to what little he had, so I ended up keeping my mouth shut.  
  
"You probably shouldn't set your heart on him, either." he warned me, "I'd hate to see him do the same with you."  
"I'm sure he wouldn't. He's a lot nicer than Lancelot." I said without thinking, then added, "Uh, no offence."  
"No, I know what you mean." he admitted. "You are too. I realised that last night. You could have told me to go away so you could still be alone with the king."  
"Oh no, I couldn't do that."  
"Exactly. It was so nice snuggling up with you, too." he said, "Much nicer than with Lance."  
  
I suddenly became worried about where Concorde was going with this and kind of wanted to stop him there, but I had been known to misinterpret things before. Not this time, though.  
  
"I think I fell for you a little bit last night, Patsy." he admitted.  
  
Even though that was where I expected it to go, I was still a little surprised to be right that he felt that way. However, I couldn't reciprocate his feelings, only able to see him as a friend, and I felt guilty about it, but I desperately wished it was the person in my other arm last night who was saying these things.  
  
"I'm just a fuck to Lance." he reiterated, "But right now, I'd rather you fuck me..."  
For a moment, I was shocked by his suggestion, and I tried to decline nicely, but he didn't give me much chance.  
"Concorde, I..."  
  
He leaned forward and kissed me, possibly thinking it would sway me, but it just surprised me even more, my eyes widening and my hands flying up to his shoulders to push him off me.  
  
"Concorde, please don't..."  
"Alright, we don't have to actually fuck," he conceded, "But just gimme something tonight, please Patsy, come on..."  
"I can't. I just... I can't..."  
"Ah, sod yer then." he finally gave up.  
Now I felt even worse about turning him down, knowing I had upset him.  
"I'm sorry, Concorde." I tried to tell him.  
"No, forget it, I didn't expect much anyway." he said. "You're still too hung up on him. I think I'll just go to bed now anyway. Last chance to join me."  
He emphasised the last part with a somewhat half-hearted grin as he stood.  
"I'm sorry, I just can't." I repeated.  
"Pfft..." he exhaled and gave a dismissive wave of his hand as he left.  
  
This whole situation was so messed up and confusing, and I worried that I had been giving Concorde the wrong impression and leading him on, despite occasionally thinking Arthur was doing the same with me. I wondered if he saw any of that, or if he was too distracted with the women, but I forced myself not to look back 'round at him for fear my expression might have given away too much. Like the fact that I yearned for him to abandon the women and instead hold me in his comforting arms. I also resisted doing anything like burying my face in my hands in frustration, although I wanted to do that too. I just sat alone with my troubled thoughts for a few minutes more before finishing my drink and heading to bed myself.  
  
I retrieved the key to my and Arthur's room from the bar staff and made my way up, then briefly considered locking the door behind me. If Arthur was going to be with those girls, I certainly didn't want it to be in here. The thought of having to listen to the three of them going at it turned my stomach. I did end up leaving it unlocked though, on the slim chance that, even if they went elsewhere, he might have still wanted to come back here afterwards. I couldn't think why he would want to, but I just couldn't lock him out. And a king being locked out by his own servant wouldn't have looked very good for him.  
  
One bed, as usual. Arthur's bed. I stared longingly at it for a few moments before making up my usual blankets on the floor, soon curling up in them. Unfortunately, now I was alone with my thoughts again and it was quiet enough - for now - for them not to be interrupted.  
  
This day had been an absolute nightmare. The minstrels were sacrificed unnecessarily and partially eaten, Robin and Lancelot seemed to have fallen out over it, Concorde and I may have even fallen out, and it looked as though Arthur was going to spend the night with those two women. All this made my head ache, and the last thought especially seemed to knot and churn up my insides as I curled up a little more.  
  
_Don't cry, you idiot._ I told myself. _You knew he was straight anyway._  
  
For a moment, I wondered if Concorde was in a similar position to me, thinking similar thoughts, but then again, I couldn't imagine anyone being on the verge of crying over me.  
Just as I was dismissing that thought, I heard the door open and the sound of two giggling female voices enter the room, accompanied by a more familiar male one.  
_Oh no..._  
  
I pretended to be asleep in the hopes they would indeed go elsewhere instead.  
"Oh, ah... my servant is already here." Arthur realised, "I... I thought he had joined his friend tonight..."  
"Want to come to our room instead?" one of the women offered.  
"Hmm... perhaps another time." he decided.  
"Aw, but we were very much looking forward to a night with our king." the other woman complained.  
"I, ah, I think I have had too much to drink anyway." he told them, "Sorry ladies."  
"Maybe another time then, as you said." the first woman accepted.  
"We might hold you to that, though..." the second added.  
"Hmm, goodnight." Arthur said, sounding noncommittal.  
  
I heard him shut the door and let out a breath, then he seemed to just stand there for a moment or two. Did I just ruin his night? It wasn't as if he couldn't have taken them up on their offer and gone with them, rather than making excuses for me; I didn't think he'd really had that much to drink that it would have affected his performance.  
  
Soon he walked further into the room and sat down on the edge of the bed, pausing there for a bit too. Then he shifted and I unexpectedly felt his fingers stroking my hair a little. It took all my willpower to stay completely still and not change my breathing, as if I was still asleep, as he believed I was.  
  
"Glad I didn't wake you..." he whispered, then sat back up. "Do you want to be with Concorde, I wonder?"  
  
I tried not to react to anything, his touches or words, until he moved away and started to get ready for bed. But now I was really confused. Did he decide against being with the women because of me? Was he going to be with them earlier because he thought I had gotten together with Concorde?  
  
I waited until a few minutes after he seemed to settle into bed before I started to open my eyes again. In the dim light, I could just about see the shape of his hand resting slightly over the side of the bed. I longed to reach up and touch it, stroke it, tell him how I felt. I imagined him returning my feelings and inviting me into the bed with him, but then I felt guilty again about declining Concorde's offer of the same. Not that it would have been the same, that is, but my mind was still muddled with the recent events. I closed my eyes and again felt on the edge of tears, even felt a sob approaching, but I tried harder to suppress it this time, now that Arthur was in the room. That was the last thing I wanted him to hear.  
  
I heard him shift about a couple of times before he seemed to drift off to sleep, and thankfully - surprisingly - it wasn't much longer until I dropped off too, although the drink probably helped. In any case, it was a few more hours I didn't have to spend with my thoughts, although I knew they would all come flooding back in the morning...  
  
_Wow, poor you. What a rough day._  
  
Definitely not one of the best on the journey.  
  
_I do think Arthur's starting to warm to you though, you know?_  
  
Quite possibly, although I was still pessimistic at the time, especially that day.  
  
_Well, I suppose all we can do is carry on with the story. See you next chapter, everyone. Hopefully it won't take as long as this one did!_  
  
I'm not holding my breath...  
  
_Shh!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, that was a much longer break than I intended to have! So sorry this took so long - I was struggling quite a bit with some of it. Plus, for a while I was in a bit of a funk and just didn't feel up to working on it. (And then Terraria (my current favourite game) had that big update...) But then recently, I snapped out of it, got off Steam for a bit and kicked my brain into gear again!  
> Although, just a heads up, I still don't have very much of the next chapter written yet, so that might take a while too, unfortunately. In fact, I have a lot more of Chapter 9 done than Chapter 8! XD  
> But we'll see...  
> At least you know I'm not quite dead yet... ;P


	8. And There Was Much Rejoicing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur and Patsy get a little bit closer as the group decides to stay in the town for another half a day or so.  
> Spot the 'Sword in the Stone' reference. :P

_Ok, I'm a little afraid to wake you up this time, in case something bad happens again..._  
  
Actually, I quite enjoyed the rest of that Winter, and most of the rest of our stay in the town. Although I must have been still affected by the previous evening, because that morning, I had been having some unpleasant dreams about Arthur mistreating me, as I have seen others do to servants before; yelling at me, insulting me, even hitting me. So when I was woken by the real Arthur, I was still half-asleep, and evidently I still associated that voice - normally such a wonderful sound - with the depiction of him in those dreams. My initial reaction was less than ideal.  
  
"Patsy, time to get up." he said, kneeling over me.  
"Go away." I muttered without thinking.  
"Excuse me?"  
  
Then I started to wake up a little more and realise my previous interactions with Arthur were just a dream.  
"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, sire!"  
  
Arthur still looked shocked for a few seconds, but then his face cracked into a smile and he started laughing. Though relieved he took it with humour, I couldn't help still being quite mortified that I said it at all.  
  
"Well, I was going to ask if you'd like to take a walk around the town," he said, still laughing slightly "Look for a merchant, get you those gloves..."  
He held his hands up then, in mock offence.  
"But if you'd rather not, I'll leave you alone!"  
"No, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to say that, I-"  
"Patsy, I'm joking! I know you're still not fully awake yet." he started to stand as he continued, "But you take your time, there's no rush. I'll just be downstairs."  
  
As he stood and made his way out, I realised he was already fully dressed, meaning the sounds of him getting up and ready hadn't woken me. I wasn't usually that heavy of a sleeper, but admittedly, it had been a long day yesterday.  
  
Still drowsy and shaking my head at myself, I got ready too and made my way downstairs. Arthur and the knights were sat around a couple of tables - although they weren't round! - discussing the next part of their journey over breakfast. I didn't want to disturb them, so I joined the other servants, although Concorde was missing from the group. He must have overslept even more than me, but I believe he did have a few more drinks than I did last night.  
  
The rest of us did converse a little, although I was somewhat distracted at times, wondering whether or not Arthur was serious about that walk he mentioned, or if it was just part of his jokingly pretending to be hurt by what I said. And I was a little worried about Concorde and hoped he was alright.  
  
After we had finished breakfast, I did feel a bit guilty about not giving the others the proper attention in our conversation, so to make it up to them, I offered to clear up, gathering up all our plates to take back to the bar.  
  
"Oh, thanks, Pats. Nice one." Sir Robin's servant said.  
"That's why he's the king's servant: he's the best." Sir Bedevere's added.  
"Alright, let's not turn him into the 'servants' servant'." Sir Galahad's was as gallant as his master. "Here, I'll help you."  
He picked up his own plate and some of our glasses too.  
"Thanks." I said to him.  
  
After our things were taken from us at the bar, Arthur appeared at my other side. We turned to each other and smiled, and very soon, my previous wonderings were answered.  
  
"Still up for that walk?" he asked.  
"Of course." I smiled.  
  
As we were walking out, I passed by Robin's servant, close enough that he could whisper something to me without Arthur hearing.  
  
"Wayhay, get in there, Pats!"  
"Shh!"  
I glanced back as I silenced him to see Galahad's servant mouth "Good luck", to which I nodded back.  
  
When we got to the door, Arthur gestured to let me out first, and I tried not to think about the reaction that might have gotten from the others behind me. After taking a few steps outside, I paused for a second to let him catch up and choose our direction of travel, then we were walking side by side for the second time in three days.  
  
The sun was quite bright for the still cold Winter, although it was only just starting to peek over the trees that were dotted around the town. We decided to walk away from the sun though, so we didn't have to squint, but we could still see the shafts of light shining on the snow surrounding the path. The path itself had barely any snow, being well travelled on, apart from some between the cobblestones making quite picturesque patterns. It was nice to be able to feel relaxed for a change, and to just enjoy the surroundings, especially the part that was walking beside me right now. And then I got to listen to his voice again about a minute into our walk.  
  
"Listen, Patsy, did I in some way upset you last night?" Arthur asked, "I don't remember many details, but I get the impression you weren't very happy, and I was worried it was something I did."  
  
Apparently, Arthur's memory suffered a little when he drank, but this was usually his only side-effect. He wasn't prone to headaches, for example. I don't think it ever really affected me much though, at least not in any significant way. (In fact, alcohol might be the one thing I can handle better than Arthur!)  
  
"Oh, no sire, I..." I tried to think quick, "I was just still a bit down about everything that happened yesterday."  
  
I only told him half the story, of course, and his feeling was more on the mark by the end of the night than my explanation. But what was I supposed to say to him? "I'm hopelessly infatuated with you and I didn't like seeing you with those women last night."? I doubted he would have taken that very well.  
  
"Oh, of course. I suppose you're still not quite as used to things like that as the knights and I." he paused in his stride to turn and give me one of those heart-achingly beautiful smiles of his, lifting his hand to my arm for a moment. "You're such a sweet, sensitive soul, Patsy. I'm so sorry for what you've been through so far."  
"It's alright. I'm feeling better now." I told him.  
"I'm glad. And you're looking better. I was just still worried about your first reaction to my waking you this morning."  
"Oh yeah, sorry again about that. I think I just had a bad night." I explained, "I'd never want you to go away really."  
"I'm not going anywhere." he carried on walking, then joked, "You're stuck with me, I'm afraid."  
"Oh, I wouldn't say 'stuck with'..."  
"What would you say, then?"  
The first thought I had was 'honoured by the presence of', but I didn't know how he would take that either.  
"Uh, 'gladly with'?" was the best I could come up with.  
"Aw, you're so sweet, Patsy." he smiled and turned to me again, "I'm glad to be travelling with you, too."  
  
I was quite enjoying the development of this conversation, until I noticed a certain couple of women making their way towards us before Arthur had even finished that last sentence. He must have noticed my expression change, and he turned in the direction I was looking as they approached us.  
  
"Hello again, your majesty." the red haired lady greeted, "We were just looking for you."  
  
It seemed to take Arthur a second to remember them, which perhaps went a little way to explaining why he didn't figure out the reason for my mood last night.  
  
"Oh, hello ladies. My apologies, last night's drink must have impaired my memory for a moment."  
"We were just wondering if you'd changed your mind about our offer last night." the woman with dark hair told him, then looked at me. "Unless you're busy, that is."  
"Ah, yes, I am busy right now, I'm afraid." he put an arm lightly at my back for a second, "And we're leaving later today anyway."  
"Oh, that's a little disappointing." she pouted, "But perhaps our king will pass through our little town again in the future?"  
"Perhaps. We'll see. But for now, ladies."  
  
He gave a slight nod as he spoke and they knew that was him nicely dismissing them, so we soon carried on walking past each other. I looked back at them briefly to see them also looking back at us, and I gave them a slightly satisfied expression before turning forward again. For a moment, I had an amusing thought that if I was a child, I might have also stuck my tongue out at them! But I was satisfied; Arthur had actively chosen to spend time with me rather than two beautiful women who were continuously offering themselves to him.  
  
That selfish little part of me returned when I was actually glad we saw them again, since it gave Arthur the opportunity to turn them down for a second time, now. However, this must have triggered his mind to answer his earlier question.  
  
"Oh, ah... If it was because of them you were upset last night, you don't have to say it, but..." he paused for a moment's thought, "I'm sorry about it."  
  
For a minute I was stunned. It almost sounded as if he knew about my feelings for him, and I realised that he might well have done by now; he was far from stupid, and I probably wasn't always hiding it as well as I'd hoped. But I still wasn't sure if he was apologising just about upsetting me, or also because he couldn't reciprocate those feelings. I may have said something in response - or quite possibly continued my denial - but before I had the chance to form any thoughts, he changed the subject, and returned his attention to me.  
  
"But never mind them now. This is our walk."  
  
Yes, he was right. I was determined to make the most of this. I was alone with Arthur, at his suggestion, no less; _he_ wanted to be alone with _me_. Although, as usual, he was far better than me at expressing it.  
  
"It has been nice spending some real time with you lately, Patsy, and actually having conversations. I'm starting to wish we did so sooner, when it was just the two of us. Now I feel like those times were somewhat wasted. Not that I'm not happy to have found all our new friends, of course, but now I wonder whether you'd now rather spend more time with Concorde."  
  
He almost sounded sad about that thought, which surprised me a little once again. But since this time he was expecting an answer, I tried not to struggle for words for too long.  
  
"Oh, no... No, I like being with you, sire. Uh, talking with you. I mean, it's great having a friend like Concorde, but I like that we're friends too now. Anyway, me and Concorde might have fallen out now, since last night..."  
"Oh dear, I'm sorry to hear that. I'll not ask, in case it's personal between the two of you, but I hope you can work it out."  
  
I did wonder if the real reason he didn't ask was because he noticed and remembered what happened between us last night, and realised I wouldn't want to talk about it. I certainly didn't want to talk about why it happened, or in particular, why I rejected Concorde - as Arthur wouldn't have been able to hear any of our conversation - so I was relieved he didn't ask.  
  
"Thank you, sire. So do I. But I was thinking you'd rather be around Sir Bedevere. You probably have more to talk about with him."  
"I enjoy Sir Bedevere's company, yes. But I'm just as interested in spending time with you. Possibly more so in some ways, because you are less similar to Bedevere and me. Too much of the same is not always a good thing, and these times with you are a nice, welcome change from having to lead and take care of my knights."  
"That's nice to hear, sire, thank you."  
"Well, I know there are people in the world who just seem to stick to their own kind, but I think they're missing out, and I don't want to miss out on you, Patsy. I'm glad our situation is so that those wasted times before were not my only opportunity. Now we have plenty of time, since, as I said, I'm keeping you around. Like it or not!"  
  
He said the last part with a joking grin, which I joined in with.  
"Like!"  
  
I could hardly believe I was joking around and laughing with Arthur like this. I was happy this part wasn't the dream. It was almost as if we were equals when no one else was around, and that could never have happened a year ago. I wasn't sure I really had all that much to offer him though, but he apparently thought I did. And I wasn't going to find fault in his judgement when he was telling me things I wanted to hear.  
  
As we continued, we found ourselves wandering into a park, our feet now crunching over untouched snow. Arthur knew about my liking for Nature and trees, so rather than taking the straight path through the park, we took a few detours through some clusters of trees. We both mused about how nice Winter scenery was when you weren't in danger or starving, referring to yesterday.  
  
"The last time I encountered a wolf, I was the one being chased." he told me, and I was shocked.  
" _You_ were chased by a wolf?"  
"Indeed. However, I was still just a boy, and I didn't yet know how to fight."  
That made more sense, otherwise I couldn't imagine Arthur being chased by anything. He was the bravest person I knew. Well, him or Sir Lancelot, although I wasn't sure if you could count insanity as bravery.  
  
"Also," Arthur continued with amusement, "I doubt I looked very intimidating at the time!"  
  
Again, I chuckled with him, but I was betting he was so adorable as a kid. I almost wished I could somehow go back and see, but, as I almost said to him earlier, I was honoured to know him now.  
  
We reached the other side of the park by then, and soon came to a row of shops and markets, eventually finding one where we could buy some gloves.  
  
"You should test them out." Arthur suggested, "See if they're thick enough."  
"How?" I asked.  
"Try picking up some snow from that wall over there."  
  
He pointed at a nearby low wall with a thick layer of undisturbed snow covering the top. I did as he suggested and scooped up some of the snow in both my hands. However, I didn't have time to process the effectiveness of the gloves before I heard Arthur speak again.  
  
"Right, now we're both armed."  
  
At first, I wondered what on Earth he was talking about, and as I turned, a snowball hit me in the shoulder. Momentarily shocked and still confused, I looked up to see Arthur in a fight stance, but with a wide smile and goading me to retaliate.  
  
The realisation started to form in my mind and I slowly smiled, then balled up the snow in my hands and threw it at Arthur. It hit him in the chest and made him laugh. Seconds later and it had turned into a playful snowball fight. We were jumping over the wall a couple of times and ducking behind trees, sometimes him running after me, sometimes me chasing him.  
  
It was great to see Arthur just running around smiling and laughing. I was happy and so was he, which made me even more happy. His mind was taken off his quest, taking a break from it for hopefully most of a day. And there was none of his burdens or responsibilities of being a king. He was just playing around in the snow like a little kid with all the freedom in the world.  
  
That was until I had to ruin it, or so I thought at first.  
  
A couple of minutes into the 'fight', one of my snowballs caught him in the side of the head and he collapsed backwards onto the ground. Of course, I expected him to spring to his feet again a second later, but he didn't.  
"Sire! Oh my God!" I cried as I ran to him.  
  
I dropped to my knees beside him, but he was still unmoving. I wasn't even aiming for his head, but the way he happened to move just as I had let my last snowball go was unlucky. I wouldn't have thought I was strong enough to knock someone like Arthur unconscious, but maybe I balled up the snow a bit too tight that time. And I had once overheard Sir Bedevere talking about head injuries, and that if it hit in just the wrong spot, even something seemingly light could do damage. _Oh God, what have I done?_  
  
Just when I was about to start panicking, I saw the corner of his mouth turn up and one eye crack open. Then before I had time to react, he grabbed some of the loose snow beside him on the ground and threw it over me, laughing. A wave of relief washed over me and I joined in his laughter, although some worry must have still been showing in my face, because his laughter soon died down a little and he lifted a concerned hand to my arm.  
  
"Are you alright?" he asked.  
"Yeah, I am now." I told him. "You scared me for a minute though, sire."  
"Oh, I'm sorry, Patsy, I didn't mean to properly scare you." he explained. "I didn't think you'd actually believe it. I thought you'd just play along or something."  
  
He put his arms around me for a few moments, pulling me into a comforting hug.  
  
"I'm sorry, I had to go too far and ruin our fun." he continued.  
"No... no, I..." I stumbled over my words for a second, realising he had the same thought as me. "I was being stupid for not knowing you were still just playing."  
"You're not stupid, Patsy." he said, then pulled back to look at me. "You're just... too sweet for that kind of joke, perhaps. You care too much. But that's good."  
  
I still wasn't sure if he knew how much I cared about him. I would have been devastated if something really happened to him. Absolutely guilt-ridden for the rest of my life if I was the cause of it. As if sensing my remaining worry, he gave me one last quick hug before we decided to circle back to the centre of the town.  
And we were not a few steps onto the street where we started when Sir Lancelot came up to us.  
  
"My liege, I was just about to come looking for you."  
"I'm in demand today, aren't I, Patsy?" he grinned, and I returned it before he turned back to his knight. "What's the matter, Lancelot?"  
"We have decided to do a bit of sword fighting practice before we leave. We thought we could do with some after yesterday's fiasco. Would you like to join us? Not that you need it, of course, but I know you enjoy it."  
"Of course. Sounds like a good idea."  
  
As they talked, that was when I looked over and spotted Concorde sat on his own on a bench outside the inn. He gave me a few somewhat awkward glances before I realised Arthur was talking to me again.  
  
"Patsy?"  
"Oh, sorry, sire?"  
"Would you like to come and watch us?"  
"Uh... actually, if I could catch up with you in a bit...?"  
  
I glanced over at Concorde, making Arthur notice him too.  
  
"I understand." he said, "See you later. And good luck."  
"Thank you, sire."  
  
As I walked away, I heard a few more seconds of their conversation.  
  
"Lead the way, Lancelot."  
"But I wanted Concorde to come watch too."  
"He can later. I think they just need a minute."  
  
I tentatively approached Concorde and he looked back up at me rather sheepishly, but now no longer unable to avoid my return gaze.  
  
"Anyone sitting there?" I asked, even though I knew the answer.  
"Nope." he said.  
  
I sat next to him, but struggled to know what to say at first. He seemed to want to attempt one last little guilt trip, however.  
  
"Are you sure you wouldn't rather be with the king?"  
"Nope."  
  
Not right then, at least. Sure, part of me wanted to take every available opportunity to be with him as much as possible, but I wasn't about to neglect my best friend for it. My selfish side had thankfully abandoned me for now. Anyway, that seemed to be one of the things Arthur liked about me, so this would probably have raised his opinion of me even more. Plus, I had the chance to make up with Concorde. It was basically a win-win, at least if I was successful. I decided to express my earlier worry about him, ignoring his jibe of a few seconds ago.  
  
"I missed you this morning."  
"Slept in."  
"Oh."  
  
Evidently, he didn't want to elaborate any further, at least not yet. So we sat in silence for about a minute, until he finally said what seemed to be playing on his mind.  
  
"Sorry... about last night. I guess I had a bit too much to drink, and I was just thinking about this whole thing with Lance before you came over."  
"It's alright, I get it." I told him.  
"You're not still mad at me, then?" he asked.  
"I'm not mad at you. I thought you were mad at me. For not, you know..."  
"Oh, no. I don't blame you, considering who you really have your sights set on." he admitted, "And you were right to stop me. You should hold out for who you really want."  
"Now you're making me feel guilty again." I said with a sigh.  
"Then, can we forget all about last night and go back to how we were before?" he offered.  
"I'd like that." I smiled.  
  
We turned in our seats as we mutually decided on a hug, the relief of our restored friendship melting away the tension for both of us. When we separated, I made a suggestion.  
  
"Come on. Do you want to go watch them practice their fighting?"  
"I don't know..." he said and lowered his face a little.  
"Lancelot wants you to go." I told him, and he looked up again.  
"He does?"  
"Yep. I heard him."  
"Alright then."  
  
We stood and turned in the direction Arthur and Lancelot headed earlier, and Concorde soon added to my rapidly improving mood by giving me yet more good news.  
  
"You know, Sir Robin has made up with Lance as well."  
"Oh, that's good." I smiled, glad that everyone all seemed to be friends again.  
"Yeah, he admitted the minstrels could be pretty annoying."  
"Yeah, they were, weren't they?" I grinned, then joked, "Especially Neil, he was the worst!"  
  
We laughed together, and of course, I didn't truly mean what I said, or at least, I had exaggerated how I felt. It was just a way of getting through that last remaining bit of sadness that might still have been hanging over us.  
  
On the way, Concorde also told me that, conversely to Arthur, he suffered a thumping headache all that morning, but his memory was intact. The headache was part of the reason he slept in late, but also because he remembered the events of last night. He admitted he wasn't quite up to facing me quite yet, but fortunately, he felt a lot better now, after I had happily accepted his apology.  
  
It wasn't difficult to find the place where Arthur and the knights were practicing; all we had to do was follow the sounds of clashing swords. Eventually we came to an open square in the town, around which were benches and walls, occupied by numerous spectators, the so-called practice already having turned into a bit of a show. We found an empty spot and joined the audience.  
  
Even some of the townspeople joined in, although not many bested the knights. One or two of their most capable fighters, perhaps, but no one could beat Lancelot, even though he was very much holding back, which I was reassured to see he was capable of doing. His opponents were also put off their stride by his ability to fight equally well with either hand.  
  
I glanced over at Concorde a couple of times to see he smiling with enthusiasm - and perhaps even pride - while he watched how well his master fought. I supposed he couldn't stay mad at Lancelot either, although I still hoped their situation would improve in the near future. Lancelot's earlier wish for Concorde to come and watch him did give me some hope in that regard; maybe he had started to feel something more for Concorde.  
  
And likewise, no one bested Arthur; he was amazing, as usual. He had lost nothing since his battle with the Black Knight, and this time, I could enjoy watching him without fear of anyone getting hurt.  
  
However, Sir Bedevere seemed to be having a bit of trouble while practicing with Robin.  
  
"You didn't seem to have any problems with your second sword last night, eh, Bedders..." Robin commented with a suggestive grin.  
"Oh, I'll say!" Galahad added from beside them.  
  
As with yesterday's banter between the three, this conversation made Bedevere's face turn a little red, although I wasn't sure they knew we could hear them this time. But at least someone had a good time last night. No, I stopped that thought, forced myself to stop thinking about the unpleasant events of the previous night. Those conversations earlier today must have been a more positive step in the right direction, not to mention the snowball fight.  
I returned my attention to action in front of me.  
  
The 'main event' was Arthur versus Lancelot. It was inevitable really, since they were the only two who won every previous fight. They were quite evenly matched between each other, though.  
  
It did make me jump a bit when Lancelot managed to knock Arthur onto his back. He then attempted his old move of going for his opponent's throat, except this time, only aiming his sword at the ground beside Arthur, of course. They probably had an understanding that if he landed it quickly enough, he would win. Arthur rolled away soon enough before Lancelot's sword hit the ground though, and got to his feet again.  
  
"I know that move, remember, Lancelot?"  
"I was hoping I'd be quick enough."  
"Never underestimate your opponent."  
"Oh, I don't. Especially not you, my liege. But I had to take the opportunity anyway."  
"I wouldn't expect any less from you, Lancelot."  
  
Arthur had his own moment soon after though, when he somehow managed - they did often seem to move faster than the less trained eye could process - to get behind Lancelot. He raised his sword to the knight's throat, only with the flat side towards him, rather than the blade. Again, probably a substitute for a real battle move, and I guessed Arthur would win if his sword made contact with Lancelot.  
  
_Go on, my king!_ I mentally cheered, and I wondered if Concorde had done the same for Lancelot earlier.  
  
But Lancelot was fast too. He was able to lift his own sword between Arthur's and himself, then push it away.  
  
"Well countered, Lancelot."  
"Thank you, my liege."  
  
They probably realised at this point that it would ultimately be a stalemate; if even I could tell, they surely knew. They carried on for a few more minutes though, and finally finished when they tired each other out, eventually ending up sinking to the ground back to back. As Concorde and I ran to our masters' sides with some water to quench them and cool them down, the crowd erupted in cheers and applause.  
  
"What are they cheering for?" Lancelot asked, "Neither of us really won."  
"We put on a damn good show, though." Arthur pointed out, smiling widely.  
  
Indeed they did, and they seemed to gain a whole town full of admirers that day. They stood and shook hands, then made their way over to the edge of the square with Concorde and me to rest for a bit. Although from then on, they were almost swarmed by the townsfolk, expressing their admiration and complimenting them, or even asking for fighting tips, moves and advice.  
  
"Why do you always go for the throat?" one person asked, which was something I had been wondering myself, remembering some of the gruesome scenes I'd had to witness - or in some cases, almost witness - in the past.  
"It would be the quickest and easiest death." Arthur explained, "That is, if it must be to the death. It doesn't always have to be."  
  
It practically went on like this until we were ready to leave. In fact, I was surprised we didn't get any more knights out of it, not from this town, anyway. They apparently wanted to gain more residents though, as they were reluctant for us to go. Arthur had to remind them we were on an important quest, of course, so they conceded this, and we finally said our goodbyes.  
  
It took a couple more weeks for the snow to start melting, and indeed, I did feel a lot better physically during that time with the simple addition of a pair of gloves. It was yet a few weeks more when it started getting significantly warmer, and I'm happy to say it affected our moods quite well, the events of earlier that Winter eventually fading from our hearts and minds.  
  
To the relief of Bedevere, Galahad's wound finally fully healed by then, without him aggravating it any further. We also - without trying to go into too much detail - said a final goodbye to the minstrels, even before the end of Winter. Thankfully, we managed to find (and keep hold of!) a steady supply of food from then on. I had to admit, I did sometimes miss Neil and the others a little bit, although a few more occasional moments with Arthur helped take my mind off it. It almost felt like I could finally start getting my hopes up...  
  
_So, you went on a date with Arthur, huh?_  
  
If you can call it that.  
  
_Oh, I'm calling it that. And I told you he was warming to you._  
  
Yes, I realised it soon after that day. At last, things were progressing, and there was still more to come.  
  
_Ohh, hopefully you've got everyone on the edge of their seats, now!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, another happy one! You might expect me to say something like "Don't get used to it", but the next chapter... well, I don't want to give anything away, except to say that I've _really_ enjoyed writing it... ;) And, as I've already got it about half way done already, the goal is Nov. 22nd. ;)  
> Although, I do also have a couple of Monty Python Gray/Vance one-shots I'd like to post at some point, either before or after Ch. 9 of this, whichever gets finished first. :)


	9. Angst-Stretching Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before Arthur and Patsy make some more progress, something else interesting happens.  
> And oh look, the rating went up. Patsy be gettin' naughty... but feeling guilty about it...

So, you know how you said I might have everyone on the edge of their seats?  
  
_Yes?_  
  
Well, they probably should sit back again, because they might soon fall off.  
  
_Oh, now that sounds interesting..._  
  
I suppose that's one way to describe it.  
We were back on the warm days by then, and it was on one particularly sunny one when things started to get a little more complicated.  
  
This time we were walking alongside a nice, clear river, the sounds of the gently flowing water adding to the atmosphere of our cheerful moods. This was so even while these warmer days were making us a little more tired than usual. For a few weeks, we had gotten into the habit of taking one extra break per day, albeit a shorter one.  
  
On some breaks, the knights also kept up with their sword fighting practicing since leaving the previous town. Today, Lancelot was attempting to train Robin up a bit more. Despite being more capable than most people, Robin was still the weakest fighter of the four in general, and Lancelot wanted to help his friend get better.  
  
Meanwhile, Bedevere and Galahad were just relaxing on the grass beside each other. Relaxing that is, until Lancelot flung Robin's sword out of his hands for the third time that day and it flew past Bedevere's head. Luckily, he was keeping an eye on the two and he had quick reflexes. He obviously still wasn't happy though.  
  
"Right, that's it. Where's Arthur? This break's over." he declared as he stood, "If I'm going to get killed on this quest, it's not going to be by one of my own comrades."  
"Oh relax, Sir Grumpevere, it was nowhere near you." Lancelot rolled his eyes.  
"Nevertheless, we can still get a couple more hours in today, come on."  
"Fine." Lancelot conceded, then turned to me. "Patsy, go and find the king, go on."  
"And don't talk to him like he's some sort of dog." Bedevere chided before I could respond, "If that's how you treat servants, I feel sorry for Concorde."  
  
He wasn't the only one, although my reasons were different, of course. I had no idea if Bedevere or any of the others knew about their situation. I also wasn't sure if Lancelot actually did talk to Concorde like that too, or if it was just other people's servants. I hoped he was nicer to Concorde.  
  
"Wow, I can't do anything right today, can I?" he said.  
"Just today?" Galahad added with a smirk as he joined them.  
"Don't you start." Lancelot warned, causing Galahad to make a mock-frightened gesture, and this time is was Bedevere's turn to roll his eyes.  
  
"Although Patsy, if you wouldn't mind going to look for Arthur, please?" Bedevere continued.  
"Of course, sir."  
  
I smiled at Sir Bedevere in a way that hopefully showed my appreciation of him asking me nicely, not wanting to thank him verbally in case Lancelot had anything to say about it. However, I didn't address or even look at Lancelot again before I turned to leave, subtly expressing that I was less appreciative of him trying to order me about. It was probably very insolent of me, but I just couldn't help myself. After spending so long as Arthur's servant, I suppose I was getting too used to being treated with kindness. I just hoped my cheek didn't come back to bite me later.  
  
On any given break, if one or two people weren't quite as tired as the majority, they often had an idle wander around the surrounding area. This was sometimes good for scouting ahead a little, or even finding a more promising direction to take. Although, how they could tell which direction was better than any other, I had no idea. But I assumed Arthur was doing something like this, so I left in the same direction we were going earlier.  
  
I found him maybe a couple of minutes walk away, spotting him through the thick branches of one of many trees I passed. The sight made me freeze for a few seconds, though: he was kneeling in a deeper part of the river, naked, bathing, I realised. Then he started to stand and I backed up towards the tree again, before he saw me, and before I could get the whole picture.  
  
Oh, but it was much too tempting, and unfortunately, perhaps inevitably, my curiosity got the better of me. I bit my lip, knowing I shouldn't, but maybe I could just take a quick peek, to see how accurate my imagination had been, if it was just for second...  
  
That was my first mistake.  
  
I crept forward again and peered through the small gaps in the thick leaves, but he wouldn't have been able to see me through them from that distance, I then realised. As soon as I saw him, now standing, facing roughly in my direction, my breath caught in my throat. He was absolutely magnificent.  
  
The late afternoon's low sun cast rays of light through the trees behind him, giving him a soft glow and beautifully highlighting the contours of his body and limbs. His muscles were just about how I'd guessed and imagined after that night in Winter he held me in his arms. They weren't too big, fortunately - I've never been into excessive muscle - and they suited his wonderful body perfectly.  
  
His hair was already wet, with some strands clinging to his face a little, and he was spreading some more water over his skin with a cloth as he continued to wash, occasionally squeezing some of the water out of the cloth onto himself. At one point, I followed a trickle of it I could just about see from here as it ran down his body, tracing the lines of his muscles; down over his chest, stomach, and further.  
  
And oh yes, he was not lacking there either. Magnificent was definitely the word, alright, and I couldn't help being quite transfixed for a bit. Just every inch of him was simply gorgeous, as I knew it would be, and I let out a quiet little sigh at that thought.  
  
So engrossed was I with Arthur's body, that I hardly noticed the physical reactions of my own at first. When I did, it made my skin grow quite hot, even though there was no one around - at least no one close enough - to see me like this.  
  
Still, that was when I realised how caught up in the moment I had been, standing here for much longer that I had intended. I told myself I should go now, but my body wasn't listening to my brain, feet still firmly planted in that spot. I just couldn't take my eyes off Arthur.  
  
I couldn't touch myself though, that would be wrong. I was at least that rational. However, it was starting to get a bit uncomfortable and I still had to adjust my clothing a little. But even the feeling of the slightly rough fabric rubbing against me in my now more sensitive state made me have to supress a moan.  
  
Then Arthur turned away and took a couple of steps toward the opposite bank, giving me another view that was more glorious than I had imagined when walking behind him. But when he bent forward to pick up a blanket he was probably using as a towel, my legs almost gave way and I had to steady myself on the branch in front of me, accidently shaking it.  
  
Before he could turn back again, I quickly retreated back to the trunk of the tree, almost slamming my back against it. I squeezed my eyes shut and held my breath for a few seconds, praying he didn't spot me. And when I heard the sounds of his movement in the water continue, as if he was going back to what he was doing - hopefully thinking it was just a bird or a squirrel in the trees - I hastily made my escape. I had pushed my luck standing there for that long, and now that I couldn't see him right in front of me anymore, it was easier to leave.  
  
It was still a little difficult and awkward to walk though, so when I got about halfway back I had to rest against another tree for a bit. The others might have been wondering where I had gotten to by now, but I couldn't go back yet, not like this. I sat at the base of the tree and tried to gather my thoughts.  
  
I really shouldn't have done what I just did. I should have left as soon as I saw him, but I didn't. I shouldn't have taken that second peek, but I did. I started to feel so guilty. I felt like I had invaded his privacy, spied on him, and oh God, I was enjoying watching him...  
  
_You're a good person, Patsy._ The memory of his words echoed in my mind.  
_No, I'm not..._ I mentally answered him.  
  
I still had to try to calm my arousal down too, try to will it away. I just couldn't use the usual method of getting rid of it, any more than I could have touched myself while watching him. I felt guilty enough already.  
  
Believe it or not, this was the first time I had actually been physically aroused because of Arthur, or at least, in a significant way. Of course, I was already attracted to him physically, as well as emotionally, and just for the wonderful person he was.  
  
But despite the occasional thought about how gorgeous he was, liking the way he moved, or enjoying listening to his voice, I think subconsciously, I just couldn't bring myself to let my body go that far. I respected him too much. At least I thought I did, until today. Could I truly say I respected him now? Blaming it on weakness seemed like a poor excuse. Honestly, I had no excuse. I screwed up, plain and simple.  
  
These sobering thoughts at least helped me to soften again, and when it had almost fully died down, I stood and set off again. I was back to normal by about half way back, but I didn't return to the best welcome.  
  
"Where the fuck have you been?" Sir Lancelot demanded as soon as he saw me.  
"For God's sake, Lancelot, what did I just say?" Bedevere snapped at him, jumping to my defence again. "And can't you see that something might be wrong?"  
  
I must still have had a noticeably troubled expression, and he made his way towards me with concern.  
  
"Is everything alright, Patsy?" he asked, "You look a little shaken. Is our king alright?"  
  
I momentarily glanced over at Concorde, who looked confused, and maybe even a little worried. I tried not to keep them waiting for an explanation though, and turned back to Bedevere.  
  
"Oh yeah, he won't be long." I said, wanting to leave it at that, but Bedevere also still seemed confused, as if he wanted me to elaborate. "He's... he's just... bathing..."  
"There, you see? Everything's fine." Lancelot said, "If that's all he been doing since he left, he should be back any minute."  
  
Evidently, Lancelot didn't think much of it, but Bedevere's mind was quick to put the pieces together. He said no more on the matter though, and was thankfully discrete about it, but he gave me a somewhat disapproving look - albeit hinted with a touch of sympathy - which I could only return with a helpless, apologetic one.  
  
I liked and respected Sir Bedevere too, and if it was possible to feel even worse than I already did, the chance that he might have thought less of me now was enough to do the job.  
  
I deliberately didn't look at Concorde this time though, knowing full well the expression he would have on his face now. In fact, I tried to avoid him altogether until Arthur returned, not wanting to be questioned about what I just saw. But when we set off again, he was surely unavoidable.  
  
"So..." he started.  
"No." I cut him off.  
"No what?"  
"I know what you're gonna say. I don't wanna talk about it."  
  
I was hoping that would be an end to it, but Concorde being Concorde, he just couldn't help himself a few seconds later.  
  
"But is he hot? Is he big?" he pointed towards Arthur in front of us, "What's that arse lik-"  
"Concorde..."  
"Sorry."  
"Don't tell me you're interested in him too, now." I sighed.  
"No, of course not, don't worry." he said, "But he's still a good looking guy, obviously. I was just curious."  
  
I wasn't worried about that; I was clearly closer to Arthur than Concorde was. No offence to him, but it wasn't like he'd be any kind of competition if it came down to that. Otherwise, I couldn't disagree with him, of course, and I couldn't blame his curiosity. I still wasn't about to divulge any details about what I saw, though. Unfortunately, he still had more to say.  
  
"You know what you could do now, don't you?"  
"What?" I asked, although dreading the answer.  
"You could save that image in your mind, then when you go to bed tonight, you could..."  
"Concorde!"  
"Just a thought."  
  
I couldn't possibly do what he was trying to suggest. It was bad enough that I stayed longer than I should have, I just couldn't use something I shouldn't have seen for my own physical pleasure.  
  
Still, I couldn't keep my eyes from wandering throughout the rest of the evening, and now that I knew what he looked like under the mail, I had to keep stopping myself from mentally re-undressing him.  
  
I also noticed Arthur and Bedevere having occasional chats, as usual, and with each one, I was hoping and praying that Bedevere wasn't telling him what I had done. Part of me did wonder what his reaction would have been if he knew, but I was much too worried he would have hated me for it to really want to find out.  
  
And as I feared, I couldn't get the image of Arthur's body out of my mind that night, after we had all turned in. I only had to close my eyes and it was there. And when it started to arouse me again, I couldn't help but remember Concorde's suggestion.  
  
Starting to lower my hand was the second mistake I made that day. Maybe if I just tried to ignore it, tried to just go to sleep, it would have gone away as it did earlier. But once my hand started moving downwards, my will wasn't strong enough to stop it.  
  
It had been a while since I had done this, but the beautiful image still in my head was enough to make my warm skin so sensitive under my fingers. I squeezed my eyes tighter shut as I raised myself yet further, then let out a breath when I wrapped my fingers around myself. I imagined Arthur looking straight at me then with an approving, suggestive smile that also showed in his eyes, as if he knew I was watching him bathe, as if he could see me touching myself now, and he liked it. I imagined it was his hand around me and a whimper escaped my throat as his face moved closer and his lips touched mine.  
  
Then my fantasies were all over the place; one minute I was on my knees before him, the next, his gorgeous body was lying over mine. I rolled onto my back in response to the latter thought, my legs even falling apart a little. I could see Arthur's face close to mine again, even almost feel the heat of his body as he joined with me. My hand tightened a little and I let out a soft moan with every imaginary gentle movement from Arthur. His mouth was at my neck and shoulder then, his warm breath on my skin, and I just knew I would have had my limbs eagerly wrapped around him as he loved me.  
  
It didn't take long after that image to come to a soon-to-be-regretful finish, staying as quiet as I could. After I calmed my breathing again, I lifted my other hand to cover my face as I turned back onto my side, curling up a little with a groan. I had made this journey even harder on myself, yet again. I wanted him, now. Not just emotionally, but physically, passionately, hungrily. I _needed_ him. I was screwed.  
  
_Oh Patsy, another fine mess you've gotten yourself into..._  
  
I know. I can't believe I even told you about that day.  
  
_Hey, it seemed pretty important to the plot to me..._  
  
I'll bet... Anyway, it did all give me a little more motivation to get a bit closer to Arthur soon after, and be a bit more open with my feelings.  
  
_Ooh, I like the sound of that. Oh, but let me guess..._  
  
To Be Continued.  
  
_Figures..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay for the quest, come for the king, amirite? (I can't believe I just said that... -.-; )
> 
> I actually had the majority of this, from when Patsy is asked to go find Arthur onwards, almost done for a while. But that beginning bit was seriously eluding me for a stupidly long time. But then literally a few days ago, (Thursday, I think) I basically had an epiphany about it. At work. Where I couldn't write it down! >.< I ended up having to go through it in my head over and over because I was worried I might forget it. XD Then I had to stay behind a half hour later, then of all days!  
> Ah well, managed to get writ' in the end, and by when I was aiming for, too! :o  
> Still not quite finished those two Gray/Vance one-shots though, but nearly done. [Insert obligatory "hopefully-on-my-next-day-off" here]
> 
> Oh and by the way, Happy Birthday to Terry Gilliam! \o/~<3  
> (Of course, if he ever actually saw any of this, I'd be mortified af! XD )


End file.
